Thursday, February 23, 2017

Tornado dreams

In the first dream, my husband and I were at a hotel highrise. I was on the balcony. He was inside watching tv. I could smell the air changing and I knew. I looked up, and there were tornadoes coming. I ran inside and grabbed at him, begging him to come with me, to lock ourselves in the bathroom, in the tub. He wouldn't go. The hotel room had huge windows. I yanked the heavy curtains closed. I shoved my mobile phone into my bracelets  (nano and medical ID) because I was wearing pajamas without pockets. I wrapped my arms around John. He said that it was here. The building shook.
I woke up.

The next one is more complicated and incorporates my past.

I was in the house I mostly grew up in (we moved in and out of the house a few times, but my dad's parents always lived there). I don't know why I would have been there, but I was. I went into my old bedroom. There was a meeting table with chairs around it. (This isn't actually weird.)  I used the bathroom (which is in the room,   there are two shower curtains on the rod that serve to separate it from the rest of the room). I get done and am coming out, and my asshole uncle walks in. I scream at him to get out. He looks startled and embarrassed  (neither which are facial expressions or feelings I think he's capable of) and flees the room. I roar (yes, really). Then I realize that my dad and the rest of his siblings are sitting at the table,  all avoiding my gaze. I'm like,  "what?!"

That's when my phone rings. It's my best friend, Renee. I answer it and tell her she won't believe the day I'm having. Hearing the furiousness in my voice, she asks if she needs to come get me. She yells to her husband,  Fritz, to go clean out the car. Meanwhile, my mom walks in the room. She looks at my dad and asks what's going on (since everyone is still avoiding looking at me and you can cut the tension with the proverbial knife). He tells her, "We all know that she doesn't know yet, and none of us want to tell her." I flip out and demand someone tell me.

"Pappy H***** died." ((No, I'm not including my mom's maiden name in a blog post. Obviously.))

"What? When!" I ask, all sad.

"About a week ago," Mom answers all casual.

I shake with anger and too many feelings. Renee is still on the phone. I can hear her. "Fritz, omg, her grandfather died. A week ago. And she didn't know."

"Again?"

"Again." Renee's voice is amazed, sad, supportive... her voice is like a distant hug reaching for my grief.

"AGAIN" I say through gritted teeth. I grab my shoes. My feet get jammed in as best I can, but the back heel parts aren't pulled up right, so I'm half stumbling as I storm out. My parents run after me, so I can't stop to fix my damn shoes. "Drive," I say to Renee, though I can barely breathe and speaking is like yanking a dagger out through my throat. I hang up. I'm finally far enough that I can fix my shoe. I hear my mom in the distance. "I'm going for a WALK," I yell.

Somehow I end up in my car eventually. I'm on my grandfather's road. There are strangers in his driveway. People are hauling off the stuff from the house. They stare at me. I pretend I'm just here to turn around, and I pull away. I go around the back, park, and head inside the other door. A room that I've never seen empty now is. I collapse on the floor. Tears flood out of me and I'm drowning in them, since I can't f*ing breathe. Then there's a siren in the distance. (I think it's actually for the fire department, but I don't know. Sounds like the tornado warning sound in movies. But I know that's not what it's really for because it goes off on nice days, too.)

I look outside. There's a huge tornado. And my mom. She found me. She comes in to say she's sorry. I tell her there's no time for that right now and shove us both into a corner. The roof rips off. We're in the middle, in the eye of the tornado. There are lots of people in the funnel, but they're blurry and moving too fast. A camera comes down (like a security camera). A loud, deep voice asks for our names.

I get up,  state my name,  and say that my family has been on this spot for generations, so it's important that I stay. My mom says her name, but she's crying so hard that it barely comes out. A hand reaches down for me and one starts coming down for her. I grab on.  She reaches just as the voice says no and the hand retracts. I grab at that hand, trying to force it back down, but can't. So I grab her. The man holding me (the one from "my hand" as I can now see that the hands are attached to people, I can see more than just hands now) tells me I have to let her go. Lightning crashes and I see a list scrolling through the funnel, projected in mid air. She's not on it. I know  he's right.

"I love you. Always remember that." I let go of her hand.

And then I woke up.

____________________________

" Being caught in the centre of the storm it shows that you are taking charge of your life. On the same token, being within the tornado means you are letting someone control you." http://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/tornado

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"Dream experts commonly suggest that tornado dreams symbolize scattered attention. This may suggest that there is a lot of things going on in your waking life. If your attention is spread out, things can slip by. Having your attention concentrated on multiple activities can also be stressful. Your tornado dream may suggest that you have too much going on. Since tornado dreams symbolize negative emotions, this can be taking a toll on you mentally, physically, and emotionally. This constant juggle can be draining on your emotions.

If you were within the tornado in your tornado dream, this can apply that your life may be spinning out of control. You may feel powerless, overworked, or overwhelmed in your waking life. The stress and anxiety from such emotions can cause you to spiral out of control. These all are very serious emotions that can lead to destructive behavior. You need to take a step back and analyze what you are bringing on yourself. You need to reevaluate your predicament and take the proper steps to make things better.

If you were hiding in your tornado dream, this can represent that you are keeping your emotions within and hiding them from the world.Keeping our emotions inside and not talking about them can result in negative behavior. Eventually, you are going to need to share what you are going through. In your tornado dream, you are hiding because you are fearful of what can happen. This same fear can be applied to your waking life. What is causing your fear? What are you scared of?

If you are caught inside a tornado in your tornado dream, this may symbolize that you are struggling with your inner emotions. Since tornado dreams represent negative emotions, more then likely you are feeling anxiety, fear, depression, or pain. This can be brought on by a variety of different things in your waking life. The worst thing that you can do at this point is keep everything bottled up inside. Tell someone that you know well exactly how you feel."

http://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Tornado-Dreams-Interpretation-Tornado-Dream-Meanings-Dream-Interpretation

Interpretation Sites.