Reflection on #AtoZchallenge 2018

a-to-zchallenge.com

View from my hospital room

Mirror selfie from hospital

This post might be a bit depressing. The challenge ended, and I managed all the posts. HOWEVER, I landed in the hospital by May 3, and was there for a few days. Yeah, I had a great view (once they found me a room... I spent the first night in the Emergency Room because there were no beds -- in a hospital with four wings and nine floors, there wasn't a telemetry bed). I am home now.

After the hospital stay, I was put on meds with "beta blockers." I've looked this up on the Internet, as well as discussing it with one of my doctors, and apparently I'm not alone in feeling depressed when taking these. Like I can't ignite my fire, can't find my passion, feel dead inside.

Which is why I hadn't written my reflection post.

Or done more commenting, as I had intended to do. (I wasn't doing so well before I went to the hospital, so that also put a kink in things.)

I feel like I'm behind on my goals. But hey, I'm writing this post now. And I took the survey. So one day at a time, right? First step in a journey or some quote for motivation and inspiration. I also can't keep a damn thought in my freaking head.

Only A to Z could use this word for me. Okay, I guess technically the hospital could too, since my blood pressure might have been above a lethal number. (Might, because I recently learned that the automatic cuffs tend to be off by 60 to 90 points on my top number, and that's what they used.) But I managed all of my posts, so that's something.

I spent the month of April writing about coffee, comparing different ones based on my flavor profile. The doctors now say I'm limited to ONE cup of caffeine a day. "It could be worse."

Yeah, it could. But add in the drugs that make me feel like a Dementor has moved into my body, plus less caffeine, and I'm not doing so great. Sorry. 

I can't think anymore thoughts, so I'm going to stop typing now.