A friend of mine is doing this 31 questions in March blogging writing challenge (https://marquessamatthews.com/2021/02/10/want-to-join-me-for-a-writing-challenge-alexandrafranzen/). I don't know if I'll manage to do the whole month.
March 15 – If you could choose your own life obstacles, would you keep the ones you have?
Hard pass on keeping these. I was prepared for a lot of scenarios. But I ended up with ones that I refused could believe could be my fate.
Seriously. A high school boyfriend once painted a verbal picture of our future. Of him coming home from work and my being there, making us dinner...
I LAUGHED.
I laughed hard. It bordered on cruel.
"No. I'll come home. You can be cooking."
Yeah. And here I am, my lungs broken, and ... my husband comes home to my cooking. My high school self would kill me. ðĄ Young me would stab 40s me without hesitation. And if she knew about half of the other stuff, she'd stab herself too.
I have failed my obstacles. And I am tired of failing. And I'm really tired of failing because I followed the rules, especially when people who aren't saddled with rules can win by just not following the same rules. ðĪ
I just... can't anymore ðððððĄðŽðĪŠð
*hugs* I don't think you're failing at all! I don't even know what I would do if I had to face the challenges you've faced. It might not be what high school you would want for yourself (or even current you wants), but you're getting up every day, and you're fighting, and you're not giving up. I know that some days are very dark, but the sun will shine again. I'll be sure of it!
ReplyDelete<3 Jayden