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Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Chuck A Kiss #WEPFF #WEP Moonlight Sonata


writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2022/08/wep-august-2022-challenge-moonlight.html


Chuck A Kiss


By Jamie of Uniquely Maladjusted but Fun



schoolbus image
I stare out the window as the school bus nears our stop for the last time this year. Over my shoulder, I wish Chuck a lovely summer. He doesn't reply. As the last two students on the bus, sometimes we talk, but other times we ignore each other. Since he's a senior, this is his last ride. Guess he's sticking with silence.

The bus glides to a stop. I grab my barren backpack and turn toward the aisle. Something flies at my face. My arms protect my head as I kick with self-defense instinct. Chuck flees off the bus. I take a moment to catch my breath. 

Did Chuck try to kiss me?

The scene mentally replays as I leave. His messenger bag hit my shoulder. My wrist is wet from colliding with his lips. He was what flew at me.

The bus driver and I exchange goodbyes as I step off the bus. Chuck is already down the road, rounding the bend toward his home. I could go after him, or up the hill to my house, possibly never seeing him again. 

"Chuck? Wait up," I call out. Do I want to kiss him? The thought never occurred to me before.

He trips over a fallen branch. I sprint over and crouch beside him.

"Leave me alone!" Chuck shoves my hand when I touch his arm. Tears stream under his glasses. 

"No. Please don't make me chase you. I want to know why you lunged at me."

"Screw you," he moves to get away, so I pin him down. I'm a powerhouse athlete, he's a brittle anime groupie.

I seize his chin to force him to look at me. "You lunged at me. That scared me half to death. What was your intention?"

He struggles to hide his face. I release his chin.

"We've made small talk on the bus a few times. You've never moved closer. Never asked for my contact information. Then, out of the blue, you threw yourself at me when I wasn't paying attention."

"Let me up."

I growl in frustration. "Fine. You owe me an apology." 

As I move off of him, I take his shoe.

"Give it back," he cries as he sits up and pulls his knees to his chest.

"Explanation or apology first. Preferably both." I sit on his stolen shoe.

"You wouldn't understand."

I huff at him. "Were you trying to kiss me? Yes or no."

He glances at me, nods, and then looks away. 

I pull out my phone and flick on Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. He watches me. "Piano music helps me calm down. Was it me you were hoping to kiss? Or was I a random target?"

Chuck examines a blade of grass.

"Kissing someone just to say you did? Last day of high school for you. Probably never see me again. Decided to just plant one on me and run off. Was that your thought process?"

He drops the grass.

zipper blouse image
"Wow. Well, why stop there?" I yank down the zipper of my yellow blouse, revealing a tight, low-cut tank top underneath. "Here's your chance. Biggest pair in the tenth-grade class."

He ogles my chest for a moment, flushes, and turns away.

"Not good enough? What if you take off your jeans and we bang in the bushes on Kellerman's yard? Brag about that for the rest of your life."

"You're such a— "

"What? Come on. Pick your insult. Think you have words worse than your actions? I'm a person, Chuck." I zip my blouse back up. "Not a thing for stealing kisses."

"Like you'd have ever agreed to kiss me." He stands up. I flick his shoeless foot.

"Maybe I would have." 

"Yeah, right. After you dated Jace, I'm so sure you'd kiss me."

"Oh, that's it, is it? Just wanted to be where Jace once was? I'm not just a thing; I'm a thing he once wanted?" Tears burn as they pour down my face. I get up and throw his shoe at him. "How dare you. I have never been mean to you. Never called you Upchuck or Chucky-No-Lucky. I stood up for you. But, to you, I'm nothing but Jace's ex."

"No." He touches my arm. I pull away. I tap my phone, moving the music just past the eight-minute mark. He raises an eyebrow. I turn to storm off. He grabs my hand.

"How did he get you?"

I pull free. "Not by grabbing or lunging at me!"

Cementing my eyes closed, I press the phone against my chest. I want to feel the music and nothing else. 

"The first time we kissed, Jace stood near me. Close enough to feel each other's breath. He was so still, and his smile was so bright. His lips were an invitation. I wasn't taken, commanded, or conquered. He's not at all what everyone thinks he's like."

"Are you back together with him?"

I swing my backpack to smack Chuck's arm. "No! That's another apology you owe me."

"You're still in love with him. I don't stand a chance."

I ram my finger against his feeble chest. "You don't want a chance. All you want is some experience. To proclaim you kissed before you graduated high school. You don't care who, as long as it happens."

"Giulietta," he moves my finger away.

"Julie," I correct him.

"Giulietta," he touches my chin. "I do want the chance to know you better. And to kiss you. Not someone else. I wanted to seize the moment, just once, because I know I'm no Jace. One kiss before you had the chance to say no."

I take a step back. "You'll find that I'm big on consent. And hate being called by my given name."




955 Words Full Critique Acceptable
Tagline: An unanticipated kiss fails, revealing a crush.

"Beethoven took Countess Giulietta Guicciardi on as a pupil in around 1801 and soon fell in love with her. His Sonata Op. 27 no. 2, 'Moonlight Sonata' is dedicated to her." - Giulietta Guicciardi (1784-1856), Beethoven and Moonlight Sonata
I named my main character for the woman the song is dedicated to. Also, the song is played in the story.
The opening of this piece is true. However, I'm not an athlete (though I was stronger than Chuck, but not faster), and I took the other path. I went home and never saw him again. I have absolutely no idea why the song made me think of him. Honestly, hadn't recalled that moment in 22 years. I don't regret my choice (he was a racist with a mean streak). Just thought it'd be fun to fictionalize the moment and play with the road not taken. I played with yellow 🌞, like the sun, the "opposite celestial" to the moon🌛, as the true story had the opposite path of this flash fiction. 

21 comments:

  1. Hi, Your dialogue is engaging and fits each of the characters. I could imagine Chucky being that kid in school that everyone called a nerd, and Julie as someone he'd been dreaming about for a long time. Nice take on the prompt. Shalom aleichem

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  2. Love the Giulietta addition and the fact that this was based on a real event! Well done!

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  3. Great story based on almost true events. Love it!
    I had a more unique way of dealing with such nonsense. I didn't realize that pulling pigtails, etc, meant the boy liked you. I thought they we just picking on me. It happened twice, and twice I slapped the guy, hard. Silly me. But I grew up with 3 brothers and a sister that loved to pick on me. So in school, I took nothing from no one. LOL
    Really wonderful story!

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  4. Interesting to explore an alternate reality! Your story is engaging and relatable. The "Giulietta" angle was perfect, too. ☺

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  5. A wonderful story. And so many possibilities it could go on from here, so many possible futures to explore.

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  6. Hi Jamie. I love how awkward the male character is to the self assured female. I can picture them both. It's interesting how real life events affect us so we can borrow from them.
    Nancy

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  7. I love that you took a real-life event and the story of Giulietta and combined them in the story. Also that she gave Chuck the business over his treatment of her as an object.

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  8. Hi Jamie. This is sad but real. I love how you incorporated some historical facts into your story. I found it very enjoyable.

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  9. This is a wonderful prompt usage. Thoroughly engaging!

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  10. Hi Jamie. Interesting take on the prompt. Using Moonlight Sonata to calm a teenager is definitely not the norm and very interesting. Poor Chuck...he really handled this situation badly. With such low self esteem, he just "went for it." Definitely not the right move, he should have talked to her about his feelings. But then, how many teenage boys talk about their feelings.

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  11. This was such a smooth read.
    Loved the line: "I'm a powerhouse athlete, he's a brittle anime groupie." It painted a wonderful portrait of the characters... and made me smile.
    Well done!

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  12. This was a treat to read - relatable and engaging. Loved your take on the prompt - that it was based on real events and you reshaped them into a modern day retelling of Beethoven and Giulietta. Consummately done! Thank you.

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  13. I enjoyed your story. Pulled me in and kept me to the end. Cool it’s based on a true incident. Great characters with fitting dialog. Nice take on the prompt. I like that your MC is strong and knows what she wants and doesn’t want.

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  14. I was drawn in almost immediately, and stayed captured to the very end. Thank you.

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  15. Hi Jamie - loved your story - the truth and the inclusion of history ... but am glad to read you stayed away and moved on ... cheers Hilary

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  16. I like it, the way that Julie takes command of the encounter. She tells him what he did wrong. That she's not an object to be taken. This is a great example of a strong woman. Well done.

    Mary at Play off the Page

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  17. I love how you incorporated history and some real life experience to write such an engaging story. Well done!

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  18. Hi. I loved how you brought out the characters in such a short piece. It was engrossing and had me hooked.

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  19. An engrossing and superbly written tale. Well done.

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  20. "You don't want a chance. All you want is some experience."
    I found out the hard way that was what the guy I spent my senior year madly enamored with wanted from me. I thought I'd gotten lucky, and he was seeing the light. He was just seeing an easy mark. I would have thought that twenty-two years into the twenty-first century, boys might have learned to see girls as human beings. If anything, I think things have gotten worse with kids watching porn from a young age and hookup culture.

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  21. Loved how you wove real life into a work of fiction.

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