Garbage #AtoZChallenge memory

🎈

"No. Not spending money on a balloon. That's garbage, junk."

Yeah, dad, it is. 

In a week, it'll be trash. 

The helium will all run out, and the balloon will crash to the floor. And even if I put it in my toy box to try to save it, eventually someone will chuck it out. 

Or is it a happy memory? Is it a few hours, a few days, of joy? A brief reason to be grateful for life? 

Why is anything that doesn't last forever automatically garbage? 

You car doesn't last. 

Mom didn't last. 

But every one of those memories was worth it. Worth everything. 

Forget You #AtoZChallenge

4Frget You song memory

#AtoZChallenge Earnhardt

Dale Earnhardt

(Not a great job zooming in, but it's real.)

NASCAR driver. Some members of my family cared, DEEPLY, about his success. Several members of my family worked for GM Chevrolet dealerships and garages. "Mr. Goodwrench" brand. And that's who Dale most famously raced for. 

I was told to like him, to root for him, to be his fan. He was the good guy. Rusty Wallace, who drove for Ford, was the bad guy. 

You realize that these are just professional drivers who were paid to race around tracks, right? 

Neither good nor bad. 

Just people doing their jobs. 

My indifference is a disappointment. But, after he died, I no longer participated in any NASCAR stuff. 

Anyway 

So, back when I was probably about 10 years old, my Aunt took me to a car dealership. We left around 3am or something. Drove for hours to get there. Stood in an incredibly long line. I had no idea what we were doing or why we were there. I remember I had to pee, but wasn't allowed. Stand still, be quiet, don't pee, don't ask questions, smile. 

After a few hours, the line finally starts moving. Don't fidget. Oh man... I had to pee. 

Finally, we get in the building. If you've ever had to pee and been out in the cold, and then came inside to a warm building...

"Be good! You'll see soon." 

I couldn't imagine what could be better than a toilet. 🚽 

A guy was sitting at a table, signing pictures. My Aunt got one, I got one, and we got one without an autograph for my brother. (He was only signing for people who were there.) 

I was polite. I said "hi" and "thank you." My Aunt was talking for a few minutes. The incredibly long line behind was less than pleased by that. She didn't notice or care. 

"Anything you want to say?" 

Like a damn fool, "May I please use the lavatory?" 

He didn't know, just smiled and moved on to the next person. 

"I can't believe you met Dale Earnhardt and all you said was to ask about the bathroom!" 

🤨 "That's who that was?" 

"Why did you think we were here?"

Super disappointing failure. Let the family down. Unworthy of being brought. 

Oh, and I still had to pee. 

#AtoZChallenge Drinking

Drinking

[The following is for entertainment purposes only. It is illegal to consume alcohol while under 21 years of age in the United States.

This is not a confession or accusation.

Resemblance to life is coincidence.]

Legal disclaimer? Check.

Okay, so, I went to wedding with my family when I was 6. The reception afterwards was in a firehouse (very common in Pennsylvania). It was freaking hot. 

At the tables, every place setting had a little plastic cup. (A shot glass, but I knew nothing of that.) I took a sip of the yellowish liquid. 😬🤢

NOT white grape juice.

Tasted how I imagined Bleach would taste. 

(It was sparkling white wine. For the toast. 🥂 ) 

I had to go to the bartender to get something else. Why my parents, grandparents, or Aunt didn't handle this, I don't recall. I guess people were supposed to stay at their table? I don't know. So I go to the bartender to ask if I can get something to drink. Ice tea, preferably. 

They don't have that.

I couldn't drink soda. 

Eventually, after crying, I managed to score a cup of pineapple juice. 

I was seriously thirsty. I managed one more cup. They wouldn't serve me anymore because they needed it to mix for actual drinks. 

The dance floor was a disaster. It was overwaxed. People kept falling. My grandmother accidentally stepped on the corner of the dance floor, and 🐧 she went down, slid like a penguin across the room.

We left soon after. Hang On Snoopy was playing and my cousins were in a pile. Again, not from drinking, just because the floor was slippery. It was a shotty reception. And my first sip of alcohol. 

When I was 11, my mom took me with her to a BABY shower for a woman she worked with. A pregnant 🤰 woman. 

There was a bowl of punch to drink. No alternatives were set out. That's fine, I like fruit punch. After my fifth or sixth cup, the hostess pulled my mom aside.

"Are you sure she should drink that?"

"It's fruit punch. She can't have soda. And nothing else is set out, so yeah."

"Umm... there's a bottle of vodka in that." 

It was a baby shower. 

No other beverages were offered.

The very, very pregnant woman and I had been downing alcohol for three hours. 

And that's how I had my first hangover in sixth grade. 

In high school, we sold "Spirit cards." It was a fundraising thing. A bunch of businesses offered discounts and freebies to anyone with a spirit card.

Applebee's offered a free frozen beverage, such as milkshakes or margaritas. 

My friends and I took our cards to Applebee's. We ordered strawberry daiquiris. They can be made without alcohol. Ours were not. We got free drinks every time. Let me tell you... we were at Applebee's every damn week. 

And yes, I told my mom. She knew. And she also knew that we weren't getting drunk off of one. Hell, she saw me down a bottle of vodka at age 11 without getting all messed up. 

I could tell you about college. I lived in an apartment my freshman year. One time, my roommate and I went away for the weekend. Came home, opened the door, 😵‍💫 the FUMES alone were enough to get a person drunk. We decide to open the windows and clean for a bit.

But I'm gonna skip ahead. 2020, legal drinking! (I was 40.) 

My husband, bff, and her then husband, went to Atlantic City. It was the last weekend before "lockdown." No one was there. It was awesome.

A place had recently opened on the boardwalk. They served slushies. 

They served alcoholic slushies. 😋🤤

So good! And we were staying at a hotel, no driving, so... bottoms up! 

Two years later, this treat appeared at our local beer distributor, Shangys. 

Look, I don't actually drink much alcohol anymore. I've had probably 2 of those a year since. I really like them. I just don't spend money on drinking. 

Not like when I was younger. 

Cats #atozchallenge 2025 memory

This was my boy. He sadly 🌈 crossed the "rainbow bridge" years ago.

 

He loved to play the "winky-blinky" game where he'd shut his eyes, then open one to see if your eyes were closed. He also loved to "help" my husband play video games.
 

This is my other little brother, Mikey Shadow (named for the OCC guy). He claimed dad's shoebox. He also liked to steal the remote. He passed a few months after my mom did.
 

My Aunt and Uncle had a cat who loved to climb. After he tore up two screen doors, they made this one. He loved to climb up it, then meow his head off until a human helped him down. Ahhh... cats.
 
I am Batman... err... Batcat


Greetings, Batcat. I am Two-face.

Have a puurrrrrfect day! Enjoy the #AtoZchallenge

Black Saturday #atozchallenge blog hop

A memory I regret having. A moment I am forced to live through. "B" was going to be for "books," and I was going to try to find a way to discuss how valuable libraries are to authors and book lovers. Libraries in Switzerland, of course, because they are known for being politically neutral. (In America, libraries are now political fodder due to an executive order against them.)

😖
As a writer and book lover, I have BIG, STRONG feelings about that, as it does impact my writing life. MY GOAL of publishing a book that is popular at the library cannot happen if there aren't libraries, which is how the order will eventually result.

But that's political! So I can't, won't, and am not posting this in a post with the Insecure Writer's Support Group label or banner.
I'm skipping creating a post for IWSG this month. 

It would be a self-betrayal not to discuss how scary that order is and how I feel about US public libraries losing their primary funding source. 
As pictured above, you can see I wrote my Congressional representatives. However, not only do I lack faith they'll read it, I now also don't believe they have the power to help.

Black Saturday- March 15, 2025 https://theintellectualist.com/black-saturday-us-constitutional-crisis-2025/

"laws are only as strong as the institutions willing to enforce them."

That quote fits my life. See, I was a ridiculously well-behaved child. (https://www.additudemag.com/autism-in-girls/ ) At one point, I was moved to another class to "set a better behavioral example" for other students. (What idiot came up with that bullshit??? Can I tell you how much no one wanted to be me? OMG.) 

But, I have a younger brother. Unlike me, he has never focused on PERFECT behavior. 

No... no... he was a little troublemaker from the start. He'd push every boundary to see what he could get away with. And whatever punishment or discipline you might think would have worked, you are wrong. Because people tried them all.  ALL. Social Workers were called on a daycare worker, so no, physical violence did not deter him.  It did teach him that hitting was okay, so there went that boundary. Bravo.

Anyway, here is what I know from being stuck with the "juvie" crew and watching my brother grow up. There is absolutely no point to rules when there are no consequences. 

"Don't eat the candy."

And if a kid eats it? The kid has had the reward.

"Seriously, no candy!"

Okay. Kid has more candy.

"What did I say? You're in a time-out!"

That sounds like a punishment. Someone like me would have been absolutely devastated. My brother? He'll piss in your corner. NOT a metaphor. 🍆💦

Eventually, the disciplinarian gives up. 

And that's America now.

The court ruled. A judge told the MAGA to go stand in a corner, stop doing the illegal actions.

But nope!

And now the corner is pissed on. The carpet stinks. And even if someone says to clean it up, it's not gonna be cleaned right. 

No enforcement.

Oddly, people are getting deported and denaturalized (that's where someone born in a country is stripped of citizenship and chucked off to some other country, a citizen of nowhere with no identification or passport) left and right. But they're skipping due process, so the justice system is again cut out.

I'm sure Elon and his DOGe team will be firing all the judges soon. 

"That's not legal! You can't just do that!"

Who the fuck do you think is gonna stop it? 

No, seriously. No one has stopped anything else.

Oh sure, there will be some protestors. Maybe even a war. 

Keep in mind that we're dealing with someone who already wanted to use a nuclear ☢ weapon on a hurricane. And he has now shut down the agencies with the scientists who explained why that would be a bad idea. 

So, if you believe he wouldn't nuke his own country... he already wanted to do that and has fired the people who told him no.

He's pissing in the corner. 

It's not an overreaction. It's a prediction.
But hell, the doctors say my husband and I are gonna die in the next four years. 

And if social security and Medicaid get shut down in the next few months, well shit, I probably won't see my 46th birthday in August. 

But this blog may survive. 

Maybe someone in Switzerland will read this one day and say, "Oh look, an American knew and cared but didn't have the power to do a damn thing about it."

(Additional follow-up from March 18, 2025: )

Apple Tree #atozchallenge 2025 memory

This tree is my brother. 🍎🌳

For Halloween one year, he trick-or-treated as an apple tree. My mom made the costume. Those are red apples on his cheeks.

He was freaking adorable. People loved the costume.

My brother absolutely hates that I have all these cute pictures of him as a child. 😂

Revenge of the older sister!! Ha ha ha.

I love him.