Potential Meme -girl self esteem

Before we get all hung up on blaming society,  magazines,  models,  and Hollywood... How about if we take a second to check what dear old dad has displayed as a fantasy woman? Frued wasn't entirely wrong,  after all. Is it a scientist of the month calendar hanging next to the tool box? I'm just putting it out there that whatever women a dad shows his daughter as his ideal is what she'll first strive to be when she hits puberty. That switch from wanting to be mom to wanting to be who dad defined as his fantasy. The moment it clicks in the mind that MOM ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. She didn't manage to remain the fantasy. (*There are men who manage to be the exception. Congratulations. There are also gay dads, but I'm not sure how they portray women to their daughters-- I imagine it varies.)

The good news is that a lot of girls grow up and get over this. We stop seeking that approval. Some of us just don't put up with not being the fantasy because we've realized that there's always some other guy out there who WILL treat us like the fantasy.

Just thought I'd share this insight after my dad has sent me yet another sexist joke which I've come to just roll my eyes at because I've long since realized that's the height of his regard. I love him, but he's beyond change. He grew up learning that this behavior was okay. If I had a son, I would hope to teach him better.

Seems society is going the way of just giving males the same body issues. No six pack abs, no love.

Survival of the fittest. We aren't beyond caveman instincts yet. We haven't become a world longing for technological and cultural advancement yet-- That's only some of us, not a majority.

Maybe one day.

#atozchallenge Zero Missed #wedding Photography Shots and My last budget tip for the A to Z of American Wedding Planning for People Who Make Under 30k a Year

Remember back during my letter S post?

You can reuse these wonderful volunteers at the reception! Lead people to the photobooth. Make sure they get in a picture at some point.

“Was Uncle Jim there?”

“I think so.”

“He’s not in any of the pictures.”

“But he just died! Why don’t we have even one picture?”

Don’t be that couple. Unless “Uncle Jim” has a legit reason for avoiding pictures (religious belief, witness protection, etc), be sure to snap at least one. The bride and groom do not have time to make sure this happens. But you can assign people to the task!

That was one of my tips for making sure you have a picture of everyone on your special day. The other tip is to give a list to the photographer.

But not just a list people you want pictures with, but also of pictures you want.

• A shot of your wedding rings.
• The groom tying his tie.
• Father of the bride helping her with the veil.
• The shoes of the bridesmaids.
• Generation shot of Grandma, Mom, and Bride.
• Little final touches like gems in your hair or a penny going in your shoe.
• Picture of your invitations (though you could take that yourself).
• Solo shots of wedding party members
• The decor (you decorated for a reason!)
• The food (I know, I know... but you'll probably forget in ten years otherwise)
• Several angles of the cake
• The special first dances
• Pic of toasts, and the newlyweds listening to those
• The bouquets
• Cake cutting

 Any professional photographer will expect you to have such a list, and probably have dozens more ideas to add to it!

They are sticking around, after all. I mean, you're going to feed them.

Feed who?
Yeah. My last budget tip for the A to Z of American Wedding Planning for People Who Make Under 30k a Year is to remember to budget food for people you've hired. The minister and a plus one will probably expect it, even if they say they don't. The photographer almost certainly expects it. Catering staff might also require it. The DJ probably needs to be fed. You get the idea. 

#atozchallenge Youngsters at the #wedding

I've already mentioned children in previous posts.
Here's a quick list of tips!

• Child meals should cost less. Check with whoever is charging you for food.
• Children have allergies. Know about it beforehand.
• Children are the most likely to blow wedding bubbles (or whatever you're using).
• Children and alcohol do not mix. Carefully consider this if having an ice luge. 
• Put some items under $10 on the registry so kids can chip in for a gift.
• Children might have bedtimes, so parents might need to leave early. Plan accordingly.
• If you expect more than 5 children, set up a "kid play area" for them.
• Screaming babies are the #1 reason to ask about a closed-circuit feed of your wedding playing in another room. 
• Flower girls and Ring Bearers need extra practice. Training. Not just one night before rehearsal.

Zip back tomorrow for a final photography tip.

#atozchallenge X at the #wedding

To invite or not to invite, that is the question.
No is the answer.
No, don't invite your X.

Why are you scrolling down here? Ohh... you want the eXceptions. Okay, here we go:

• The X has switched gender preferences
• The X is a family member and your other half insists on the invite for that reason
• The X took a vow of chastity and is now "married to religion"
• This is the only way your offspring with the X can or will attend

And that's it.

"But we're bestest friends now! Seriously, there's nothing going on."
Why don't you have that level of friendship with the person you're marrying?
"I haven't known my intended as long."
And you never will. That's how time works. You'll also never be older than your older sibling, unless the older sibling is a leap-year baby and even then it's a technicality.
"Yeah, but it's my wedding. I can invite whoever I want!"
No. You can invite whoever you and the person you are marrying choose to invite.
"But spouse-to-be said it's okay."
Was there guilt? Did the future other-half need to prove just how okay s/he is with you still being friends with the X?
"The X is helping to pay for the wedding. The X has access to a wedding-related thing and is giving it to us or discounting it, and therefore..."
*sigh* Now it's a debate between etiquette and the feelings of the spouse-to-be. Which matters more?
"Seriously though, my whole family and all my friends are cool with my X."
And are they equally cool with the person you're marrying? Or will breaking up with you seem like the best way to get these people to like him/her?
"But I'm happy now! I want to rub that joy in the face of my X."
Uh huh. That's not healthy. Please Google a therapist.


Do what you like. But as far as saving money goes, not inviting the X is one less meal to buy.

#atozchallenge W for wax seals and White House #wedding invitations

Wax seals look great when done properly. However, they may change the weight enough to increase the cost of mailing. Also important to note is that wax seals can't survive the fast sorting normal process of the USPS. You need to ask for hand stamping.

If you happen to like the President, you can send an invitation to the White House. The first family probably won't show up, or even personally see your invite-- but the correspondence office will send you a nice reply. Your tax dollars already paid for this, so you may as well enjoy the citizenship perk.

https://whitehouse.gov/contact/presidential-greetings-request

Send it at least 6 weeks in advance.

There are other non-W places you can send invitations to if these collections interest you.

Scorpion tv show Chevy vehicle

Question on @Quora: Which Chevrolet car in the show Scorpion does Walter drive (the "company car")? -April 2016 epi… https://www.quora.com/unanswered/Which-Chevrolet-car-in-the-show-Scorpion-does-Walter-drive-the-company-car-April-2016-episodes?srid=nsCB&share=c2ab5611

#atozchallenge #weddings V for Veil, gloves, and shoes

There are many accessories for the wedding day. I'm not going to go into jewelry here. I'm just going to touch on the three disaster-averting accessories that my vast wedding knowledge encompasses.

Veil -- There are several lengths of veils. Not every bride wears a veil. Some brides have a blue trim on their veil.

Something borrowed
Something blue
Something old
Something new
And a six pence
for her shoe

When people hug you (during the receiving line just after the wedding ceremony), the hug pulls the veil. The longer the veil, the more pull you'll feel. If it isn't well secured in your hair, someone will pull it off. The line stops while that's dealt with. "OMG your hair! And just before pictures. I'm sooo sorry. Here, let me fix it." "No, let me." "Here, we can just do this..."

Prepare accordingly.

Gloves -- The trouble with gloves is dealing with them in addition to putting a ring on. The upside of gloves is for people who don't like to touch sweaty hands. You end up shaking a lot of hands. Some people are more germ-a-phobe than other people. Gloves don't just look elegant, they help with this sort of problem.

Shoes -- Wear comfortable shoes. Whatever type you normally wear is what you should wear this day. You'll be on your feet for most of it! Will people see your shoes? Depends on how long your dress is and how high you lift it when walking, getting out of vehicles, and or taking the stairs. At the very least, pack comfortable shoes in the Bride's Emergency Kit (see letter K). You might want them by that 30th dance after Uncle Ted steps on your toes.

Tune in tomorrow for information on Wax Seals and White house Invitations.