W is for William #atozchallenge #ShortStory

My theme for 2021 is a Young Adult short story. A double-date in the 1990s. An established teen couple sets up their best friends with each other, but it doesn't go well.

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Today's word count is approximately: 270 words

W is for William

Since Lance is the only one of us who is seventeen, I hand my Phar-mor Video Rental card to him. He takes the copy of Outbreak to the video register. 

"Riley? Doubt it." I overhear the clerk say.

"Do you want to see my license?" Lance challenges.

"Dude, I don't actually care. Two-fifty."

"If you don't care, why bring it up?" I hear change hitting the counter.

"Because I know her. I'll call her later and tell her some guy in a jacket from your school was using her card to rent a movie."

I walk away from Yohann and Madelyn (not that Madelyn would notice, since she's busy staring adoringly at Yohann) and head to the register. 

"William? I didn't know you worked here." I smile.

"See? I told you I know her," William says to Lance, who shrugs.

"This is my cousin. William, this is Lance, my boyfriend."

He nods. "And that's why he's using your card. Because you can't rent an R movie."

"Yes. He's ruining my mind with a movie about a virus. My innocence is in peril."

William laughs, his big belly rolling like Santa's. "Says the least innocent girl I've ever met. Runaway before I tell him what you were like at my tenth birthday party."

"You wouldn't dare."

Minutes later, we head toward the Phar-mor checkouts and exit. The cashier doesn't say anything about our purchase of shampoo, condoms, microwave popcorn, and gum.

"Do you know half the employees at this mall?" Lance asks as he grabs the bag and takes my hand.

"Maybe. Eyes everywhere, I guess."

He laughs.

---

Thank you for reading! 

If you're on mobile and can't see my sidebar:

https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/uniquely-maladjusted-but-fun-13546807 - My Bloglovin link

My Twitter would be @PenMinion - but I'm suspended right now. I used a quote from a comedian to threaten my self-critical inner voices. I didn't know that voices in my head were protected by Twitter's TOS. But they are. And even though the comedian has a Twitter account, and the quoted joke is available as a gif on Twitter, it was still a violation of the TOS. (And possibly racist?) Feel free to scroll this blog to learn more. I have several posts about it. In the meantime, never threaten inner voices of self-doubt, because you can be kicked off of social media for such an action. 

💰
Get Stash, an app that makes investing easy. If you sign up with my link and add cash, we both get $20 of bonus stock. https://get.stash.com/jamieejv28 💵

Please let me know who you are on the Master List if you're doing a to z-- I'd like to visit you too!

Have a puuuurfect day. 🐈

V is for Videos #atozchallenge #ShortStory

My theme for 2021 is a Young Adult short story. A double-date in the 1990s. An established teen couple sets up their best friends with each other, but it doesn't go well.

Content warning: Today's post includes some pandemic snark about the movie Outbreak. It came out on VHS in August 1995. I quarantined for a year, and got my second Covid vaccine on April 15-- that should tell you where I stand. 😷

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Today's word count is approximately: 460 words

V is for Videos 

We head to the video rental in Phar-mor. Lance grabs one off the wall as soon as we get there.

"Oh cool, they've got Billy Madison! Adam Sandler is hilarious." 

Yohann pulls it away. "We're looking for a make-out movie, remember? Girls."

Lance shrugs. "Don't need a movie to get to make-out with my girl. Right, babe?" 

I grin and kiss him. "Damn straight. But I have seen that movie already."

We find Madelyn looking at Star Trek or Star Wars or whatever. I drag her away. "The point isn't to actually watch the movie."

"Yeah, but—  "

"Nope. You get those, you pause every five minutes to nerd out and explain things no one knows or cares to know."

"I do not." 

I stare at her. She sneers. I stick my tongue out.

"Keep doing that, it'll freeze that way."

I shrug. "Lance my darling, do you care if my mouth freezes with my tongue sticking out?"

"That would make kissing interesting. But it could be handy at other times." We both laugh. Madelyn shakes her head and walks away.

"Has anyone seen this movie?" Yohann walks over holding Outbreak.

I shake my head. "No. But I heard about it. Some virus breaks out and the government has a hard time quarantining the infected people. As if anyone would willingly spread a deadly virus."

"Some people are selfish, babe. Or they'd be like my father, saying it's all a government conspiracy to get our money and track our movements."

"Yeah, right. Even when they see sick people?"

Lance shrugs. "You know what a dick he is. Probably would say they're faking. Or that the government is infecting them on purpose."

"There's no way people would ever be that dumb. Maybe your dad. But not many people. We should watch the movie, see if there's even a character like him."

"I bet there will be."

"Ohh, what are we betting?" I wiggle my eyebrows. Lance leans in and whispers that we should bet oral sex. Winner receives. "You're on."

"What'd you bet?" Madelyn asks. 

"Make your own," I wink.

"I'll wager for your pink butterfly hair clip that there will be a happy ending."

"And if the ending isn't happy, you have to convince your parents to let these guys come to your birthday party. Or let us take you out for the night."

Yohann wraps his arms around Madelyn. "Out. I definitely vote for talking them into letting you run away with us for the night. So we can celebrate properly." 

Madelyn nods. I'm not sure she's even aware of what she's agreeing to right now. He could say anything as long as he held her like that and pointed his lips toward hers.

---

Thank you for reading! 

If you're on mobile and can't see my sidebar:

https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/uniquely-maladjusted-but-fun-13546807 - My Bloglovin link

My Twitter would be @PenMinion - but I'm suspended right now. I used a quote from a comedian to threaten my self-critical inner voices. I didn't know that voices in my head were protected by Twitter's TOS. But they are. And even though the comedian has a Twitter account, and the quoted joke is available as a gif on Twitter, it was still a violation of the TOS. (And possibly racist?) Feel free to scroll this blog to learn more. I have several posts about it. In the meantime, never threaten inner voices of self-doubt, because you can be kicked off of social media for such an action. 

💰
Get Stash, an app that makes investing easy. If you sign up with my link and add cash, we both get $20 of bonus stock. https://get.stash.com/jamieejv28 💵

Please let me know who you are on the Master List if you're doing a to z-- I'd like to visit you too!

Have a puuuurfect day. 🐈

Comedians

Here's the thing about comedians...

It's an art form. Which means at the very best, it's going to be controversial. The audience is meant to walk away with new thoughts, maybe a new point of view.

"See this thing? I'm going to show you how ridiculous your current take on it is!"

To me, that's what I see. Especially in a certain comic. The one who uses a line for which I have been banned from Twitter and accused of being a racist.

Because I see the joke. I see something that people fear and have made crazy assumptions about. And I see that turned into something that shows how unrealistic, how far from reality, the audience has become. It isn't meant to be realistic. It's a dummy. And it's mocking the fact that people really think that's a realistic portrayal. The point, in my interpretation, is to show people how ridiculous they've become, how far from reality their perspective has gotten. This gives the audience a chance to realize that change is possible, to wake them up. It's a chance to fight racism at the root -- crazy assumptions about others that have been blown out of proportion over time. It's a chance to start a real conversation.

And that's what makes it art. Anything that starts a conversation, that opens a path to progress, is a type of art. 

Of course, we don't all have the same idea about what progress is. 

And it's probable that not everyone shares my point of view on the jokes. 

I'll probably get attacked in the comments. Or in more private messages later. 

And you want to know a secret? My self-doubt voices don't want me to publish this. So I can see why Twitter still has me banned, because by expressing my opinion here, but pressing publish, I'm gonna crap all over those precious self-doubt voices again. I really am the only threat to their existence. Oddly, if those voices caused MY death, they'd die too. Funny that they need me to survive yet try to take me down. 

U is for Underwear #atozchallenge #ShortStory

My theme for 2021 is a Young Adult short story. A double-date in the 1990s. An established teen couple sets up their best friends with each other, but it doesn't go well.

---

Today's word count is approximately: 323 words

U is for Underwear

"Cotton candy?" Yohann asks when he breaks the kiss with Madelyn.

"Hmm?" 

He licks his lips. "The flavoring on your lips."

"Strawberry Lip Smackers," I answer, knowing which one Madelyn always wears. Yohann looks over at me.

I also know that she's wearing green satin underwear right now. I haven't seen them, she didn't tell me. But I know she thinks that wearing them makes her sexier, and that the color indicates she's horny, which she'd want to convey in case Yohann somehow encountered them. 

Because it isn't about him for her. It's about the experience. As if it's a video game and she just wants to win. I should have thought about that before suggesting Yohann. Lori was an evil witch, but at least she liked Yohann for Yohann. And he has been lonely since she left. 

Lance kisses my ear and whispers, "See? They're hitting it off. Everything is fine."

Oh, if only that were true. 

"Are you really going to keep shampoo at Mike's?" Lance asks, pointing to the bottle.

"No. I do need a bottle though. Why, do you think I should?"

He shrugs. "We're there enough. I have a drawer. You could keep it there."

"Next to your spare boxers and the condoms?" I nibble his lower lip. 

"We should get more of those, too." He winks.

"Do not bring condoms to my parents' house. They will freak."

Lance laughs. "Really? I was totally planning to have an orgy on your living room floor later. Darn."

I giggle. "Guess we can't get whipped cream, either."

Yohann wraps his arms around Madelyn's waist from behind. "So there's no protection at your house? What if your parents leave town?"

"They never go anywhere."

"Hmm, that's no fun. We're going to have to come up with ways to sneak you out."

Madelyn turns bright red as she grins. Yohann eyes me. 

"Let's just go get a video."

---

Thank you for reading! 

If you're on mobile and can't see my sidebar:

https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/uniquely-maladjusted-but-fun-13546807 - My Bloglovin link

My Twitter would be @PenMinion - but I'm suspended right now. I used a quote from a comedian to threaten my self-critical inner voices. I didn't know that voices in my head were protected by Twitter's TOS. But they are. And even though the comedian has a Twitter account, and the quoted joke is available as a gif on Twitter, it was still a violation of the TOS. (And possibly racist?) Feel free to scroll this blog to learn more. I have several posts about it. In the meantime, never threaten inner voices of self-doubt, because you can be kicked off of social media for such an action. 

💰
Get Stash, an app that makes investing easy. If you sign up with my link and add cash, we both get $20 of bonus stock. https://get.stash.com/jamieejv28 💵

Please let me know who you are on the Master List if you're doing a to z-- I'd like to visit you too!

Have a puuuurfect day. 🐈

T is for Trolls #atozchallenge #ShortStory

My theme for 2021 is a Young Adult short story. A double-date in the 1990s. An established teen couple sets up their best friends with each other, but it doesn't go well.

---

Today's word count is approximately: 245 words

T is for Trolls

They give up on antagonizing me and aim for Madelyn. "And what's your story?"

"She's with me," I hear Yohann say. 

Please, please, don't let this go bad. She can't take any more cannon fodder being fed to these two. If our principal wasn't blind, they'd have both been expelled by now. But, of course, the staff has been fooled.

"And you're what, having an orgy with those two?"

"Maybe you should be more concerned about your own love lives. I don't see any guys following you. Are there two mister trolls lingering somewhere around here?" Yohann asks with a laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just because we don't bring guys to this dump mall doesn't mean we don't have dates."

Yohann laughs. "Yes, from the look of it, you're dating each other. For the best, since I don't think an actual guy would want any of that."

I hear Madelyn gasp. I pause kissing to chuckle.

"Clearly, guys from your school have no taste."

"I have excellent taste. Especially for sweets." I look over as Yohann pulls Madelyn closer. He runs his thumb across her lip. I see her shiver with anticipation a moment before he kisses her. 

My heart would swell with joy if I believed it meant even a tenth to him what it means to her. But the trolls don't know what I know. So they saunter off, probably to collect bridge tolls on someone else's happiness.

---

Thank you for reading! 

If you're on mobile and can't see my sidebar:

https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/uniquely-maladjusted-but-fun-13546807 - My Bloglovin link

My Twitter would be @PenMinion - but I'm suspended right now. I used a quote from a comedian to threaten my self-critical inner voices. I didn't know that voices in my head were protected by Twitter's TOS. But they are. And even though the comedian has a Twitter account, and the quoted joke is available as a gif on Twitter, it was still a violation of the TOS. (And possibly racist?) Feel free to scroll this blog to learn more. I have several posts about it. In the meantime, never threaten inner voices of self-doubt, because you can be kicked off of social media for such an action. 

💰
Get Stash, an app that makes investing easy. If you sign up with my link and add cash, we both get $20 of bonus stock. https://get.stash.com/jamieejv28 💵

Please let me know who you are on the Master List if you're doing a to z-- I'd like to visit you too!

Have a puuuurfect day. 🐈

S is for Shampoo #atozchallenge #ShortStory

My theme for 2021 is a Young Adult short story. A double-date in the 1990s. An established teen couple sets up their best friends with each other, but it doesn't go well.

---

Today's word count is approximately: 340 words

S is for  Shampoo

There's a familiar cackle from behind me. "Oh. My. God. What are they even, like, doing here?"

"Yeah, seriously. It's like this store will totally let anyone in."

I tap my forehead against Lance's chest, wanting to bash my brains out. The same way I generally feel when around these two.

"Yeah, it's like it's a public place or something. Which explains why they allow you two whores in here," I keep my arms around Lance, but turn my head just enough to look them in the eye as I fling the insult.

"What did you call us?"

"My bad. Virgins can't be whores. Trolls would be more accurate."

Jaws drop open. Madelyn grabs my shoulder. "Don't antagonize them!" 

"Screw that. This isn't school. Some teacher isn't going to come around the corner and suspend me. This is the actual world. I'll say whatever I please to the ugly trolls."

"How dare you speak to us that way!"

"How dare you speak to us at all!"

"Shut up. We're on dates. See, when you're not a troll, you can actually get a date." I'm sure Madelyn is right and that I'll pay for this in school later. But that's a future problem. 

"Babe, who are these two?"

"Troll bitches from school. They thrive on getting people in trouble with teachers and whatnot. Not worth the space they take up."

"At least my dates don't take me to Phar-mor."

I let go of Lance and grab my shampoo bottle off the shelf. "I didn't have my shampoo at his place. I was getting a bottle before we rent movies and get take-out. I plan to get laid tonight. What's your big plan?"

The bitches look to Lance. I glance up. He's smiling. 

"You aren't sleeping with her."

Lance wraps his arms around me. "Hell yeah, I am." He grabs my ass as he leans closer. I kiss him with passionate fire. I'd rip his clothing off and do him right here in the seasonal and clearance aisle of Phar-mor. 

---

Thank you for reading! 

If you're on mobile and can't see my sidebar:

https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/uniquely-maladjusted-but-fun-13546807 - My Bloglovin link

My Twitter would be @PenMinion - but I'm suspended right now. I used a quote from a comedian to threaten my self-critical inner voices. I didn't know that voices in my head were protected by Twitter's TOS. But they are. And even though the comedian has a Twitter account, and the quoted joke is available as a gif on Twitter, it was still a violation of the TOS. (And possibly racist?) Feel free to scroll this blog to learn more. I have several posts about it. In the meantime, never threaten inner voices of self-doubt, because you can be kicked off of social media for such an action. 

💰
Get Stash, an app that makes investing easy. If you sign up with my link and add cash, we both get $20 of bonus stock. https://get.stash.com/jamieejv28 💵

Please let me know who you are on the Master List if you're doing a to z-- I'd like to visit you too!

Have a puuuurfect day. 🐈

R is for Video Rental #atozchallenge #ShortStory anniversary

My theme for 2021 is a Young Adult short story. A double-date in the 1990s. An established teen couple sets up their best friends with each other, but it doesn't go well.

---

Today's word count is approximately: 205 words

R is for Video Rental

I hear Yohann come up behind me. "Anyone else hungry?"

Madelyn huffs. "We don't have time to eat much. It's already seven-thirty."

"Are we allowed at your house?" Lance asks her. 

"What do you mean?"

"There's a video rental here. And XQZ. We could order take-out and watch a movie at your place. Or drop you off and go to Mike's, if your parents won't let us stay."

Under Lance's jacket, my hands form fists. I want to hear Mike's name like a hole in the head right now.

"We could get noodles and watch Lady and the Tramp. Or a scary movie." I hear Yohann say. "I can cover your eyes at the scary parts."

Madelyn laughs. "I love horror movies. Eye covering won't be necessary." 

And then bombs drop and explode as Yohann's attempt at flirting blows up so badly that a giant crater will be all that's left of this mall. My body shakes as I try to repress a laugh. 

Lance strokes my hair. "What about you, babe? Take-out Chinese and a movie sound good?"

"Sounds like two additional hours in the only place I want to be."

He kisses the top of my head.

---

Thank you for reading! 

If you're on mobile and can't see my sidebar:

https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/uniquely-maladjusted-but-fun-13546807 - My Bloglovin link

My Twitter would be @PenMinion - but I'm suspended right now. I used a quote from a comedian to threaten my self-critical inner voices. I didn't know that voices in my head were protected by Twitter's TOS. But they are. And even though the comedian has a Twitter account, and the quoted joke is available as a gif on Twitter, it was still a violation of the TOS. (And possibly racist?) Feel free to scroll this blog to learn more. I have several posts about it. In the meantime, never threaten inner voices of self-doubt, because you can be kicked off of social media for such an action. 

💰
Get Stash, an app that makes investing easy. If you sign up with my link and add cash, we both get $20 of bonus stock. https://get.stash.com/jamieejv28 💵

Please let me know who you are on the Master List if you're doing a to z-- I'd like to visit you too!

Have a puuuurfect day. 🐈

Today is my fourteenth wedding anniversary! 

 

Lyle, Kevin, Jesse, John, Jamie, Renee, Jamie, Liz

 

Bouquet battle with best friend Renee ❤

 

Wedding colors: Green, purple, dark blue, light blue