Thursday, June 22, 2017
Saturday, June 10, 2017
Friday, June 9, 2017
I deleted the comment from Facebook.
I'm not brave enough to even ask for help. Probably because I know the answer.
There are NO words. There's nothing I could say to keep judgemental, violent people from being who they are.
If they want to kill me for an invisible health problem, they are going to, and no words will stop it. Laws can't help, why would anything else?
This was posted on Facebook by a close relative with opposing political views. I left a comment because I need to know how not to become this meme. I'm posting that comment below because maybe others will have an answer.
☆It's not the judgment I worry about, it's the potential and likely violence from those judgemental people.☆
Okay, kind of glad you shared this, because I have serious question. 100% genuine here, because I don't know and I need to know...
With the "new arrangement," I have to pick John up every night. But summer is coming. When I get back, there's usually no parking anywhere near my door. Which means John dragging my body, again. But then the next day, I still have to get to my car to go get him, and I'm probably going to pass out in my parking lot and either die from suffocation or getting run over. The ONLY thing I could try to do is apply for a handicap parking thing.
But see this meme? It's why I haven't. (This one and a few similar.) Not just the memes, but I know that people genuinely feel this way. People who aren't going to stop to read my medical ID bracelet. People who will be jealous that I have a parking space and they don't and might stab me or shoot me at 1am. (Both have happened here to others in the last 4 years. So it's a legit concern.)
So what could I say to save my life? Keep in mind, in this circumstance, I'm not going to have enough air to make a whole sentence. And I'll be too close to blacking out to type. Sarcasm or flipping people off is going to get me stabbed faster.
As someone with this view, what 5 second reply could get you to change your mind and feel merciful enough to allow me, or someone like me, to pass?
The handicapped parking might not seem like this meme. But you've never seen me at the store in the summer, laying in a aisle, tears streaming down my face, with no idea how I'll get back to my car. I'm not brave enough to grab one of these carts because of memes like this, and a fear that I'll get my ass kicked by someone who will see me walk 5 feet or 10 feet and decide I didn't have need of these. Renee (bff) and I have had this argument when I've refused to use one and she's had to drag my broken ass to the freezer. This meme isn't about me yet, but what terrifies me is knowing that it will be. And I don't know how to protect myself from this.
I'm seriously asking your advice here. I really have no idea how else to stay safe. I'm going to suffocate or I'm going to get my ass killed by someone who can't see that I'm broken.
Visually, I look okay. Just a big fat fatty, thanks to the steroids and inactivity the doctors recommend to keep me alive a little longer. Do I get a tattoo on my forearm announcing that I'm an easy kill, so please show mercy, because I can't breathe? Would that work?
I really need to know. All input is welcome. Because I'm against a clock. The 90° heatwave hits next week. The pain is coming. I need a defense. I need help. I'm afraid. I need armor of some kind to keep me from becoming this meme.
Can you help me come up with a defensive phrase?
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Is Harley Quinn our Jane Everywoman?
I watched Suicide Squad and came to the realization that Harley Quinn reminded me of every woman that I know, depending on the scene. (Please note that this is ONLY a reference to the character as portrayed in the 2016 movie. There may be some minor spoilers ahead.) Harley’s character came off as strong, independent, sexy, smart, abused, lonely, in love, intelligent, goofy, brave, and more.
For most of the movie, Harley wears skimpy, tight, revealing outfits. She works her body to distract others. She uses it to draw attention to herself. But she also dresses this way when she’s in a cage, alone, so she might well be doing this for her own reasons without giving thought to other people. Looking good for yourself, not for anyone else. That reminds me of several women I know. Dressing provocatively to get more attention also reminds me of a few women I know. (That’s not a degrading observation, they will tell you that they are doing it.) There’s also a flashback which shows her before, back when she was a doctor. She’s dressed modestly there. And in another scene, she’s dressed comfortably in more modest attire while caring for children and her beloved.
There’s a lot of online chatter about a need for strong female characters. Though Harley is a villain, I submit that she qualifies for the slot. Take, for example, the glass elevator scene. She separates from the group. Monsters attack. She deals with them. The elevator opens. How the others got to the floor faster than the elevator is slightly unclear, but there they are… waiting to rescue her. Harley, however, is in no need of rescue. She handled her business.
Her relationship with the Joker is how she’s too often defined. That happens to a lot of women. The relationship errs on the abusive side. She fights for the love of someone who is unable to return her feelings in the way she wishes would happen. That reminds me of every woman I know. Perhaps not wasting time with a boyfriend, but with a friend or a family member, that is how I can include every woman I know in this generalization.
But there’s another side to her relationship that I didn’t know about. Consider that the Joker is named as Batman’s main antagonist (I’ve seen several compelling articles about character construction and relationships that support this yin - to - his - yang theory.) Batman struggles against committed relationships because he feels he’d put the other person in too much danger. The Joker addresses this head on in the Suicide Squad movie. He asks Harley if she’d die for him, and she says yes. But then he asks if she would live for him. Her agreement to this leads him to helping her transform into her own formidable character. Yes, the Joker does come to get her during the course of the movie. But look at her, she’s fine! He’s not coming to rescue her so much as he’s coming to give her a ride. Add in the phone updates and his “rescue” is basically an Uber upgrade.
The relationship between Harley and the Joker is considered abusive by many. I’m no psychologist, but one should perhaps evaluate based on what happens to Harley after she thinks she’ll never see the Joker again. She’s sad, she grieves a little, but she picks herself back up and goes off to save the day. And then, given the opportunity to rewrite her fate, to have her dreams come true, she (SPOILER) picks her friends instead. There’s such strength there. Not only does it remind me of many of my fellow women, but it’s a moment that makes her a good example to females everywhere. A hero. Someone to look up to, to strive to be like, and to idolize. It’s so unexpected, but there it is. She’s vulnerable and feminine, but she’s also brave and confident.
As for being goofy, the scene where she acquires a purse and, when the guy looks at her like she’s nuts, she responds that it’s normal behavior for villains. It’s a very funny moment. I definitely know a lot of women who rock that sort of off the cuff humor. And a few who would love that purse.
Her character shows off brains during the flashback of her days as a prominent psychiatrist. Are those smarts gone, drained away in the vat that made her the Joker’s jester? No, I don’t believe so. The bar tending scene has her dishing out the same sort of medicine. Except she has no filter, no bed-side manner reservation. She flat out tells one character to own what he did. Women far too often hide their brains behind their beauty, as Harley demonstrates.
Not every woman can wield a baseball bat, giant mallet, and a revolver. Not every woman wears pigtails and two different eye-shadow colors at once. We aren’t all in love with a green-haired fellow. But I believe that, if you look just a little, you’ll find at least one trait of every woman in the Harley Quinn character played by Margot Robbie in the movie Suicide Squad. Finally, a Jane Everywoman to pair against the John Everyman.
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Friday, May 19, 2017
My writer friend and I are discussing a need for Shazam and IMDB to team up so we can point our phone at the screen and find out "who is that and what do I know the person from"?
Comment/ share if you also wish this exists, or know an app that does it.