#atozchallenge #weddings V for Veil, gloves, and shoes

There are many accessories for the wedding day. I'm not going to go into jewelry here. I'm just going to touch on the three disaster-averting accessories that my vast wedding knowledge encompasses.

Veil -- There are several lengths of veils. Not every bride wears a veil. Some brides have a blue trim on their veil.

Something borrowed
Something blue
Something old
Something new
And a six pence
for her shoe

When people hug you (during the receiving line just after the wedding ceremony), the hug pulls the veil. The longer the veil, the more pull you'll feel. If it isn't well secured in your hair, someone will pull it off. The line stops while that's dealt with. "OMG your hair! And just before pictures. I'm sooo sorry. Here, let me fix it." "No, let me." "Here, we can just do this..."

Prepare accordingly.

Gloves -- The trouble with gloves is dealing with them in addition to putting a ring on. The upside of gloves is for people who don't like to touch sweaty hands. You end up shaking a lot of hands. Some people are more germ-a-phobe than other people. Gloves don't just look elegant, they help with this sort of problem.

Shoes -- Wear comfortable shoes. Whatever type you normally wear is what you should wear this day. You'll be on your feet for most of it! Will people see your shoes? Depends on how long your dress is and how high you lift it when walking, getting out of vehicles, and or taking the stairs. At the very least, pack comfortable shoes in the Bride's Emergency Kit (see letter K). You might want them by that 30th dance after Uncle Ted steps on your toes.

Tune in tomorrow for information on Wax Seals and White house Invitations. 

#atozchallenge R is #wedding Reception parking and Restrooms

Back in the H post, I mentioned handicapped guests. I’m bringing them back up in case you have any and haven’t thought about their bathroom and parking needs. While you’re at it, check those bathrooms out! A kitchen is typically as clean and well-kept as a bathroom. Think about that if you’re ordering your food there. Women will especially comment on a nasty bathroom, and compliment a well-kept one. (A bar around me received a special local award due to the overwhelming number of women who voted it best bathroom in the area—it wasn’t even a category! Write-ins. Ha ha.) By the way, how big is your wedding dress? Can you, dear bride, and that dress fit into those stalls? Best to check before you put down hundreds of deposit dollars.

Back outside, count the number of parking spaces. Factor in the number of guests, and about how many cars they have. I’ve been to receptions with a shortage of parking. It isn’t pretty. I’ve seen cars getting towed. Heard DJs pause the music, “will the red Ford Mustang, plate A2ZR-0421 (ha) please move your vehicle out of the neighbor’s driveway.”

Planning avoids disasters. That could be your getaway car out there. The tow-truck taking away the Just-Married mobile and having to spend $500 to get it out… not the best way to start a marriage.

L is for Limo #atozchallenge #wedding

Limousine, carriage, bus, car, van, tractor, horse... you're going to need transportation. (Unless the party is at your place.)

Some wedding dresses are not conducive to driving yourself. If you plan to do it, I urge you to try it out beforehand. Wedding days should not include a mishap where the bride’s gown gets caught under the gas pedal.

Consider how much transportation you need and when. There’s travel from wherever the bride and her party gets ready, and travel from wherever the groom and his party gets ready—to the ceremony location. Then there’s the ceremony, which might last up to three hours (depending on what you have planned). Next up is usually pictures, some of which will probably be at your ceremony site, and some which will require the party to visit another, more scenic, location. Then it’s usually on to the reception hall. Factor in at least five hours. Now everyone needs to get home. There may be various levels of sobriety to consider.

Limousine companies may charge by the hour, which can make this an impractical option. Research is needed to get the best deal. Generally, unless you ““know a guy”” this is just an outrageous expense.

A horse and carriage is slower than many people realize. (Unless you have grown up using this mode of transportation, and thus are familiar with the pace.) If your wedding ceremony is indoors, the carriage rolls up and no one even sees it. (Except for the photographer, if you’ve alerted him/her.) There’s also the weather to consider, because rain will be far worse in an open carriage. And the wind can do a number on your hair. Cinderella had a hair and make-up team, and plenty of movie studio people to fix strays and snags. If your heart is set on this option, it’s fine, just know what you are committing to.  Preparedness is the key to preventing most disasters.

Elephants will almost certainly require a permit. Be sure to check the laws and ordinances of your area before planning any non-motor-vehicle transportation. Also find out if your wedding procession is allowed to run lights and stop signs to keep in line. (Very rare.)

A popular money saving-option is to ask a few friends or family to serve as drivers. The cars are decorated (don’t ruin the paint, don’t ruin the paint, don’t ruin the paint), and these loyal people are devoted to hauling your party around all day. Select those who are okay with being designated sober drivers (if you’re serving alcohol).

If you can find a unicorn to serve as transportation, you should definitely do that. ;)

If you get the Chicago PD to drive you, you might be in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. 

K is for the Bride Emergency Kit #AtoZchallenge

The more you search on this topic, the more great ideas you are going to find. Get a bag, purse, backpack, or whatever suits your need. Stuff it full of all the crazy stuff the bride might need. Label it "property of the bride," or something along those lines. Put someone in charge of the Bride Emergency Kit. (BEK)

Whoever is in charge of the bag brings it to the wedding and the reception. They will be seated moments before the "music change" when the bridal party comes in. (Someone you'll put in the front row by the parents is an ideal choice.) The person will tag along for pictures, even if they aren't in them. The person is the last to sit before the party officially enters the reception. You might have this "BEK" person leave the bag in the bathroom at that point.

What are the basics of this kit? Whatever you normally carry in your purse, plus whatever you might need on this day. Your medicine cabinet of usual remedies, make-up for touching up, tissues, extra stockings (if you're wearing them), ballet slippers for the reception, phone charger, chalk to cover any stains on the fly, scotch tape, duct tape, packing tape, a lighter, a bottle of water, your favorite snack bar/ nuts/ non-messy treat, the numbers of every business you've used for the event, a spare house key, safety pins, etc.

Play the "what would you do if" game. Watch the wedding fail videos and see how many of those terror-comedies could be avoided with some planning.

And to you guys out there, a Groom Emergency Kit can be a real lifesaver. What item could you forget that someone will give you a hard time about forgetting? Pin a list to the GEK and get your most reliable bro to make sure you have that stuff.

Tomorrow I'll talk about transportation.

D is for Dress Rip-offs #AtoZChallenge

"The Davey& Goliath Dress Shop is having a $98 gown sale!"

Yeah, I'm sure they are. First off, notice the fine print on the sale ad. Dresses START at the low price. This means two things. One- some of those dresses are going to cost more than $98, many of them, in fact. Two- That's the price for the dress as is, so don't think one Benjamin is gonna cover you. Okay, yes, some brides get lucky. Some brides find the perfect dress at those sales and it fits.

Other brides find a dress that they somewhat like and it sort of fits. Then "Davey& Goliath" offers their in-house tailoring and custom alterations. Suddenly the sale price isn't as spectacular. There are add-in and fees that come out of no-where, and that $98 dress now costs $300 and still doesn't fit right.

I've seen it happen. A bride I knew got so frustrated that she stormed out of the store, walked through the parking lot to a department store, and bought a white sundress off the rack and got married in that. There's nothing wrong with that choice, but her bridesmaids were wearing very elegant gowns and she was in a $12 sundress. She still curses "Davey& Goliath" (not the real shop name) to everyone who will listen. If you search, you'll find her complaints and warning on numerous websites.

There was a wedding I was in a few years ago. My bride and our party went to "Davey& Goliath" to look for dresses. We found a purple gown that looked good on all of us and was affordable. Orders were placed. Money was exchanged. The dresses did not come. First it was that they no longer had the color (watch a bride change the entire color scheme of her wedding in tears at such news), then they lost the order, then the wrong dresses showed up, two of them with the wrong sizes. And that was it. My bride switched dress shops and we all ended up wearing red (the color that was, allegedly, in stock — because she wasn't going to change the scheme back again now). (PS— The bride mentioned here still complains 16 years later about those red dresses, and that "Davey& Goliath" couldn't give us those beautiful purple ones.)

Shop with care. Have someone reputable who won't rip you off do the alterations. And get the dresses in hand as far in advance as possible. If "Jane" manages to lose those ten pounds, she can get her dress resized later. But not too much later— leave time for disasters! Plan for the best and expect the worse.

Tune in tomorrow for a discussion on Eloping.

C is for Crinoline, Custom Dresses, and Crazy Trains #atozchallenge

  

Wedding planning really is all about THE DRESS. I’ve seen it time and time again. Everything is just a vague pile of ideas and dreams… then the bride finds THE DRESS and everything falls into place.

(I don’t know what the equivalent of this is for weddings with all tuxes. If someone can enlighten me, please do so. I love to learn!)

Summer or Winter? Beach or Church?

THE DRESS provides answers.

Crazy train lengths, for example, are called “cathedral” for a reason. Trying to drag that monstrosity through the sand isn’t just difficult, it’s dangerous. (Ask the bride who had to be cut out of her dress to avoid drowning to death. There’s a fun view for your guests- NOT.)

 

There is no law about wedding fashion. I know a couple who got married wearing NASCAR gear. (They have a connection to the sport.) My cousin attended a skydiving wedding ceremony- no fluffy white dress at that party! 

Wondering what the deal is with white? In the olden days it was a sign of virginity. That’s what people mean when they say cruel gossipy things like, “I can’t believe she wore white!” You don’t need to invite those kinds of people. Let me say it again- There is no law about wedding fashion. (At least not in a majority of America— feel free to check for obscure or bizarre laws at your leisure.) Some cultures and religions do have traditions, but only you can decide if that's something you want to embrace. Red, the symbol of love and prosperity, is the dress color of choice in Chinese culture and an auspicious choice for much of India.

What gives flouncy dresses that huge poufy shape? Crinoline. Some women have never heard of this before. There are many dresses out there that are designed to have this extra piece worn underneath. It usually doesn’t come with the dress, so you might need to budget for one. They come in various shapes and sizes depending on the dress style you’ve selected. Someone will likely need to climb under your wedding dress and fix all the layers of the crinoline when you first get dressed.

Combine crinoline and a crazy train and you’ve got a problem that might not have occurred to you, dear bride. You can’t go to the bathroom alone. Someone has to hold up all those fluffy layers, or help you in and out of this. And before you even think it—no, you should not go the whole day without liquid. HYDRATION MATTERS.

Some brides are okay with this buddy system scenario. Others will opt for a “little less dress” and a product called the Bridal Buddy which helps you lift up your dress. And then there are those who will wear the big gown for the ceremony and pictures, and then change into a casual dress for the reception.

Which brings me to the final C­­—custom dresses. There exist, in some places, dress shops where a seamstress will customize a dress for a fraction of the cost of buying a new one and having it altered. These shops purchase dresses at a discount and resell them. Usually the dress is new. Sometimes it was worn once. Occasionally it was ordered but never worn. Seek these shops out to save big. Tomorrow we’ll discuss Wedding Dress rip-offs.