Social security email

 https://www.facebook.com/share/19AjqaEzuy/

There is a great deal of debate and discussion about this email from the SSA. So, if anyone wanted to read it, and doesn't subscribe and thus didn't see it, here you go. 

Alligator Evolution

 

https://www.facebook.com/share/1NXDgBRV3L/

1- This is the Give A Shift About Nature group, right? So, just a brief pause on the planned atrocity, to take a look at what has just happened. It's the Florida Everglades. That area is supposed to be for protected wildlife. Any man-made structure in that area is a disruption to the special environment there-- no matter what the purpose of that structure is. 

Saying that it will benefit the wildlife because they can rise up the food chain and develop a preference for eating humans-- creatures which have a remarkable reputation for evolution and survival-- is just... 🦖 ... We're watching people bet on human extinction. New dinosaurs, robot 🤖 take over, starvation, roast to unaliving, nuclear winter, or asteroid! Predict the correct apocalypse and win... win the same unalive as everybody else. 🤦 

This is yet more proof that no one "at the top," no elected official with actual authority and power, does, in fact, give a *shift* about nature.

2- There's an incredibly old story about two brothers, Cain and Abel. And Cain unalives his brother. To everyone pointing out that absolutely every single solitary president the US has ever had did a bad thing, a similar bad thing, or a way worse bad thing... okay, valid. BUT we still made murrddeeery illegal, even though Cain did it a way, way, super long time ago. We didn't just 🤷 shrug it off. "Oh, well, we were gonna morally oppose this, but one person did it, so guess we'll let it slide." If forty or so people screw up, we don't have to give up on the hope and dream of ***someone*** actually doing better. We do NOT have to accept that one more person being a screw up means the future is damned. We CAN keep aiming to achieve a compassionate society, a utopia where people come together and support each other, and keep working to do better for each other. 

That can still be a goal. No matter how terrible our past is. Absolutely everyone can decide they desire a more loving and compassionate future where people are supportive and care about each other.

Doom-scrolling comments proves that we have a long, long, LONG way to go. And that many people do not desire that utopia. 

A world for everyone isn't the goal of everyone. 

Thus, some people hope for an apocalypse. Such as alligators evolving into much more dangerous predators who prefer the taste of humans.

3- Believing 🐊 animals cannot evolve will definitely protect you. Yes, if a super-gator corners you in twenty years, explaining that evolution is against your belief system will definitely stop the animal and make it rethink it's philosophy of existence. 🤔🤨🤫

("Unalive" used instead of "dead" because the Facebook algorithm flags words like death and murder.) 

IWSG Try a New Genre

https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html

I haven't really tried the Choose Your Adventure genre, but I have considered it. They were my favorite as a young teen. I thought about it. My friend did one, and it was amazing, but I saw just how much work it is! Maybe someday. I feel like I'd need an app or something to organize it all. 

 

No Congressional Approval

https://www.facebook.com/share/1LTHkCJ8gn/

Congressional approval is required for the United States military to get into a war. 

So, essentially, Don stole some weapons and units and ordered people to break the law for him, and here we are. 

But what else could distract US citizens from masked goons abducting people- including high ranking officials- in broad daylight? 

Or another attempt to pass a bill that will result in far more COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE lives ending. But hey, at least the veterans who will go to this war he started, can know for sure they'll only have a chance to get medical care if they voted for him, and are married- straight, and will be able to get a job with health insurance to get that medical care, so long as they need no days off or anything. Because those are the kind of "budget laws" he is trying to get passed. Which tracks, because he frequently mocks military service people. 

But hey, at least we know if they retaliate, he'll make sure the states don't get a single penny to repair any damage. (Partly because we no longer make pennies.) But he'll get the funding for his "golden dome," which will maybe protect .6% of the country on a good day, but that's nothing compared to the damage it will cause. 

🤦‍♀️ Hey, maybe other nations won't do anything about the massive human rights violations happening in America, in too many cases to, whoops, actual citizens (because when skipping Due Process, a lot of totally innocent people get picked up too, just for being at work, school, a store...). 

It's very dark. 

We study all these amazing countries that were once leaders. Egypt, Rome, Mongolia... Places fell. Did the people see it coming? 

The United States is no longer able to claim leadership of the free world. The might is over. But it'll probably go out with one last, unforgettable horror. His supporters will enjoy that, even if every last one fails to survive Nuclear Winter. That'll be fine, because at least others will fail too. 🫣

And history won't have a chance to properly discuss how technology was hidden in power cords to circumvent "air gapped" voting machines and scanning vote readers, connecting the machines to StarLink, and allowing manipulation. It was discovered, it was proven, damning evidence has been gathered, but it hasn't been discussed yet in the courts officially. The companies involved did just get military contracts though. But really, those only become valuable if...ummm...well, bigger orders come when the military needs to buy because 🤔... hang on, what were we talking about? Surly a president wouldn't act without Congressional approval to start a war to properly repay the illegal military contracts given in exchange for committing the greatest fraud in the history of the United States? 🤔🤨🫡

Fascinating. 

Yeah, how could this happen? Oh, basic math. Right. 

Well, maybe we should expect a tad less from someone with federal convictions for doing very similar activities. Thank goodness they opted not to sentence while the election was happening, and then opted for no time served after the results indicated a win.

🤨

Fraud?

 Source: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AnrrBsNEx/

I would not normally copy paste an article. But I have NO FAITH that the information won't "mysteriously vanish" from Billionaire-owned sources.

Not that my blog is so much safer. But... 🤷

"The missing votes uncovered in Smart Elections’ legal case in Rockland County, New York, are just the tip of the iceberg—an iceberg that extends across the swing states and into Texas.

On Monday, an investigator’s story finally hit the news cycle: Pro V&V, one of only two federally accredited testing labs, approved sweeping last-minute updates to ES&S voting machines in the months leading up to the 2024 election—without independent testing, public disclosure, or full certification review.

These changes were labeled “de minimis”—a term meant for trivial tweaks. But they touched ballot scanners, altered reporting software, and modified audit files—yet were all rubber-stamped with no oversight.

That revelation is a shock to the public.

But for those who’ve been digging into the bizarre election data since November, this isn’t the headline—it’s the final piece to the puzzle. While Pro V&V was quietly updating equipment in plain sight, a parallel operation was unfolding behind the curtain—between tech giants and Donald Trump.

And it started with a long forgotten sale.

A Power Cord Becomes a Backdoor

In March 2021, Leonard Leo—the judicial kingmaker behind the modern conservative legal machine—sold a quiet Chicago company by the name of Tripp Lite for $1.65 billion. The buyer: Eaton Corporation, a global power infrastructure conglomerate that just happened to have a partnership with Peter Thiel’s Palantir.

To most, Tripp Lite was just a hardware brand—battery backups, surge protectors, power strips. But in America’s elections, Tripp Lite devices were something else entirely.

They are physically connected to ES&S central tabulators and Electionware servers, and Dominion tabulators and central servers across the country. And they aren’t dumb devices. They are smart UPS units—programmable, updatable, and capable of communicating directly with the election system via USB, serial port, or Ethernet.

ES&S systems, including central tabulators and Electionware servers, rely on Tripp Lite UPS devices. ES&S’s Electionware suite runs on Windows OS, which automatically trusts connected UPS hardware.

If Eaton pushed an update to those UPS units, it could have gained root-level access to the host tabulation environment—without ever modifying certified election software.

In Dominion’s Democracy Suite 5.17, the drivers for these UPS units are listed as “optional”—meaning they can be updated remotely without triggering certification requirements or oversight. Optional means unregulated. Unregulated means invisible. And invisible means perfect for infiltration.

...

Enter the ballot scrubbing platform BallotProof. Co-created by Ethan Shaotran, a longtime employee of Elon Musk and current DOGE employee, BallotProof was pitched as a transparency solution—an app to “verify” scanned ballot images and support election integrity.

With Palantir's AI controlling the backend, and BallotProof cleaning the front, only one thing was missing: the signal to go live.

September 2024: Eaton and Musk Make It Official

Then came the final public breadcrumb:

In September 2024, Eaton formally partnered with Elon Musk.

The stated purpose? A vague, forward-looking collaboration focused on “grid resilience” and “next-generation communications.”

But buried in the partnership documents was this line:

    “Exploring integration with Starlink's emerging low-orbit DTC infrastructure for secure operational continuity.”

The Activation: Starlink Goes Direct-to-Cell

That signal came on October 30, 2024—just days before the election, Musk activated 265 brand new low Earth orbit (LEO) V2 Mini satellites, each equipped with Direct-to-Cell (DTC) technology capable of processing, routing, and manipulating real-time data, including voting data, through his satellite network.

DTC doesn’t require routers, towers, or a traditional SIM. It connects directly from satellite to any compatible device—including embedded modems in “air-gapped” voting systems, smart UPS units, or unsecured auxiliary hardware.

From that moment on:

- Commands could be sent from orbit

- Patch delivery became invisible to domestic monitors

- Compromised devices could be triggered remotely

This groundbreaking project that should have taken two-plus years to build, was completed in just under ten months.

Elon Musk boasts endlessly about everything he’s launching, building, buying—or even just thinking about—whether it’s real or not. But he pulls off one of the largest and fastest technological feats in modern day history… and says nothing? One might think that was kind of… “weird.”

According to New York Times reporting, on October 5—just before Starlink’s DTC activation—Musk texted a confidant:

    “I’m feeling more optimistic after tonight. Tomorrow we unleash the anomaly in the matrix.”

    Then, an hour later:

    “This isn’t something on the chessboard, so they’ll be quite surprised. ‘Lasers’ from space.”

It read like a riddle. In hindsight, it was a blueprint.

...

The Outcome

Data that makes no statistical sense. A clean sweep in all seven swing states.

The fall of the Blue Wall. Eighty-eight counties flipped red—not one flipped blue.

Every victory landed just under the threshold that would trigger an automatic recount. Donald Trump outperformed expectations in down-ballot races with margins never before seen—while Kamala Harris simultaneously underperformed in those exact same areas.

If one were to accept these results at face value—Donald Trump, a 34-count convicted felon, supposedly outperformed Ronald Reagan. According to the co-founder of the Election Truth Alliance:

    “These anomalies didn’t happen nationwide. They didn’t even happen across all voting methods—this just doesn’t reflect human voting behavior.”

They were concentrated.

Targeted.

Specific to swing states and Texas—and specific to Election Day voting.

And the supposed explanation? “Her policies were unpopular.”

Let’s think this through logically. We’re supposed to believe that in all the battleground states, Democratic voters were so disillusioned by Vice President Harris’s platform that they voted blue down ballot—but flipped to Trump at the top of the ticket?

Not in early voting.

Not by mail.

With exception to Nevada, only on Election Day.

And only after a certain threshold of ballots had been cast—where VP Harris’s numbers begin to diverge from her own party, and Trump’s suddenly begin to surge. As President Biden would say, “C’mon, man.”

In the world of election data analysis, there’s a term for that: vote-flipping algorithm.

...

And of course, Donald Trump himself:

He spent a year telling his followers he didn’t need their votes—at one point stating,

    “...in four years, you don't have to vote again. We'll have it fixed so good, you're not gonna have to vote.”

Again-- text copied from sources. 

Preserved here. 

The latest in Politics

This is just art from an app that I colored. 

 

Childhood Books #IWSG

 

https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html

These are some of my favorites. I loved the Little Bear book. I actually picked this copy up at a thrift shop 20 years ago. No idea what happened to my childhood copy. 

Then there were these other books. (Sorry it blurred, I couldn't steady myself today.) I love the art! 

Not pictured, the "Little Miss" and "Mr." Books. I had so many of those! I loved when my mom read them to me. They were so silly. Great memories. 

I have lots of great memories of reading and being read to. I LOVED library day at school. And PizzaHut Book It, I earned free pizza every month! 

In April I posted about being a volunteer librarian in middle school. It was awesome. If it weren't for my health issues, I'd probably try to get a job as a librarian. (In my country that is actively trying to shut them down🤦‍♀️ by defunding. Talk about no job security. Sigh. Political 🤐) But anyway, I love books. I think literacy is the most important non-survival gift a child can be given. (Meaning food, water, and health come first. SORRY, that really shouldn't be political. My bad...🙊🙉🙈 ) I believe in reading. I loved watching Reading Rainbow. (Crap, political again.🫣)

🌈

Screw it, I can't figure out how to not sound political, even when I'm honestly trying not to. But, since I guess the liberal Democrat is just woven in me, I'm gonna go for broke and all in with:

🏳️‍🌈 HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍🌈

LGBTQIA+ and allies, I hope you celebrate well. 

80 Hours an American Month

I propose the creation of a website or app, where creative disabled people (writers, artists, etc) who create from home (regardless of income generation) could "clock in" to show 80 hour a month productivity. 

Not everyone is hirable. Not everyone is medically cleared to return to work. And many of those people pour their passion into creative pursuits. It doesn't always generate income. 

But, if Congress fails to protect us, and my fellow disabled, unhirable, liabilities are supposed to account for 80 hours a month, then support should be offered to those who are doing the best they can to survive productively. NOT income, just a "punch clock" to stay alive in America if that horrible budget bill of death passes. 

(Homemakers, likewise, should get recognition for their efforts. How about 24/7/365 payments and tax breaks to them? Staying at home can be more work than going to a job. But the United States probably isn't ready for that, because it's a path to Universal Basic Income.)

Baraka is innocent

Support Mayor Baraka! His job as mayor includes checking that government facilities in his city are run correctly. Stop allowing people to be arrested for ACTUALLY doing the JOB they are ELECTED to do! 

And support the members of Congress who have the good sense to SUPPORT the Mayor who DID his JOB. 

Ridiculous. 

Stop letting the United States be a mockery. 

Ridiculous and shameful. 

This is NOT great. We've fallen so far away from "greatness" that we're gonna be a damn "FIFTH world" nation. Not first, second, or third. Nah, we're going for fifth. Last place. Beyond last. 

Terrible disgrace.

#AtoZChallenge Reflections #IWSG Writing Fears- Existential Crisis

I didn't get to comment on as many blogs as I hoped and planned to. Life is not what I ever imagined and I'm having a difficult time adjusting and reprioritizing. I can't wrap my head around my current situation.

Jamie of UniquelyMaladjustedButFun

This fortune cookie 🥠 actually sums it up. 

I fear being less than who I dreamed I would be.

Except... I am. 

I am far less than my dreams. 

Do I start over with new ones? 

Would it matter? Doctors keep saying I'll be gone before 2030, absolutely no matter what, that I will never turn 50. Seems like a threat, because they won't even offer hope or space for a miracle or anything. I don't know what to do with that. 

Just live each day?

Just try to spend as much time with my husband as possible? 

I love him. I'm grateful for him. I absolutely don't want to exist without him by my side. 

I barely read or write anymore.

Didn't even manage to make many blog comments because I didn't prioritize time for it. 

So, I guess my fear now is that I'll write instead of spending moments with my husband. And I fall apart when we're watching tv together (the only activity he's interested in at all right now) and he starts playing on his phone. And I'm excluded. So now I'm not living my dream, I'm not reading or writing, and we're not actually doing something together. And I don't like myself. And I don't know WHAT NOW. 

What goal do I live for?

Who am I? 

Do I just wait for death?

Do I demand more of myself?

And to top all of this, my wrist HURTS. Just this month of blogging, half done on my phone, has my wrist and fingers feeling like a rock 🪨 smashed them. 

(A problem that started in Jan 2024, when the stroke impacted my right arm, and then got worse when it was SLAMMED hard, with all the might of a tech and nurse, as they tried to shove me into a tube and I got stuck.) So now writing, something I live/d for and that makes me feel alive, happy, and purposeful... now it hurts. Like a punishment, like maybe I'm not supposed to be me. Maybe I'm just supposed to be John's wife. A great gig, granted, and one I am grateful and proud to have. But am I still more? Am I me? 

Or am I already gone?

I have ALWAYS said that if I can't write, if I'm not writing, that I am dead. 

I hold to that.

Right now, I'm alive, but I'm barely living.

I am not who I was. 

Rejections, failures, lack of talent or ability? 

Those were never my big fears.

Success... slightly, because I've dealt with stalkers before (non-fame reasons) and I don't have it in me to go through that again.

I don't know.

When I think about what I most want, it's to traditional publish a novel under my name. 

Preferably the Lenore story I've been working on for a few years.

A traditional publisher wouldn't accept it because it would ABSOLUTELY be a banned book in America right now. 

And if you speed round ask me what I most want to do with my life, with my time left, that's what I'll immediately say. 

And then pause.

And say I actually want to spend every possible moment with my husband. Who the doctors keep saying will be gone in four years, UNLESS he gets his blood sugar under control. (He gets an unless. But every time he gets close, something happens and it gets messed up. Like they change his meds. Or now he can't do physical activities. But we're not supposed to consider the scientific reasons. We're supposed to just FIGURE IT OUT. Other people magically master this, why can't we? 

I'M A FUCKING FAILURE.) 

See... and then I don't want to write. Don't feel like I should.

Don't know who I am. 

I have no idea who I am. 

I don't think I've been me since 1998. 

All my social media. "JamieWriter." 

That's how I define myself. 

Sure sounds like someone who should spend most of her time writing. Or at least some. Sounds like she'd fight for it.

And she'd protest libraries being shutdown. Probably more than just letters and mentions on her blog. 

Maladjusted. 

See... it was funny when I said it before. My mom always said I was strange. 

Maybe stranger than anyone knows. Even me. 

I WANT to WANT to write more than anything. And I do... sorta. I want my actions to reflect that. 

But, ah... what my actions and choices prove are that my true desires are to spend every possible moment with my husband, and to experience as little physically pain as possible. And that is the absolute truth.

Please, I need to fit writing in there. My soul wants NEEDS that.

I read the original Harry Potter query letter. If you've ever seen it, it's obvious why it was rejected. It breaks every query rule. It included sketches. It was a hot mess. It's amazing Harry Potter was published at all, let alone the subsequent worldwide phenomenon. 

But, there are 9 other examples. 

Maybe this meme graphic will help someone going through less of an existential crisis. 

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BbR9PRdbo/

I want to end this on an upbeat note. Because one thing I CAN do is support and appreciate other authors. Vikki is turning 60 and having a book release milestone. So please check that Facebook post out! Or her Urban Fantasy on Amazon.

Zippity #AtoZChallenge

My mom didn't want to be "grandma." She was several years younger than my dad, but often accused of "robbing the cradle," because he looks younger. (Especially when he died his hair.) 

So she played around with all the usual choices.

And settled on being called "Zippity" and my dad becoming "Doo-Dah." 

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah https://g.co/kgs/9zM2nrn

It's an old Disney song. And yes, that should be "Zip-a-dee." But she didn't look it up.

It's irrelevant. My daughter died. My brother's son, assuming it was his, was taken by his baby momma and that's a whole huge heartbreaking mess of heartbreak 💔 and crazy (and expensive legal drama). Plus, she has since passed away, so it really wouldn't matter now. 

Mom's recipe for a quick and easy dinner. Salmon Soup

This is a regular 14.75 oz can of salmon (not the little "tuna" size). Dump in a pot. Fill the can twice with milk, added to the pot. 2 to 4 tablespoons of butter. A dash of black pepper. Heat to boil, then cook about 3 to 5 minutes on simmer.

Glad I had that conversation and took a screenshot. It's a rare comfort food. Eaten with Saltines or Oyster crackers. 

And now it's also saved here, on this blog. Hopefully for all time. 

Thanks for another great #AtoZChallenge 😊

You'll be grateful for it someday #atozchallenge 2025 memory

 

"You'll be grateful for it someday."

My grandmother said that more times than I can count. She lived through the Great Depression. (From a century ago, not whatever current garbage.) So I guess she had to accept a lot of crap. 

I don't know. My great grandparents seemed to be doing pretty well, as far as I can tell from going through the old house. Fine China (now stolen), a crystal chandelier (my dad has that), a piano with real ivory keys, jewelry (mostly stolen now), furs (yup, also recently stolen). [Why didn't my Aunt let anyone sell some of this stuff? Well, a thief sold plenty! The police 👮‍♂️👮‍♀️ caught one guy. He's declaring insanity. Trial pending. 🙄] 

Anyway. What terrified me was that ominous one day. Like, just how far would I have to fall to be grateful for an itchy sweater that didn't fit over my, then, C cups (I'm wayyyy beyond that now, oh my, Victoria Secret doesn't even carry my size- just saying)? And I don't mean slightly itchy. I mean I freaked out and genuinely tried to rip off my skin. Chicken pox itched less. I could not calm down. It's terrifying to think I could be grateful for such a horrifying experience. Just how bad is life expected to get??? 🥺😵

Xandria #AtoZChallenge

Xandria Barbara Smith

My daughter. 

Barbara Smith was the name of the baby-daddy's dead mother. We wanted to honor her. 

I wish I had a better picture. 

Something more than an ultrasound from from my second trimester. 

She was never okay. I did everything I could for her. It wasn't enough. Undersized. Underweight. Underdeveloped. 

There was barely a moment. 

A whisper of life, of motherhood. 

I am still a pro-choice supporter. Even though my choice was her life, and I was denied too much of that experience. 

Tums Gummy Product Review

 NOT an AtoZ post. Please keep scrolling for those.

We got this new Tums gummy. 

John Dorner was fine with it.

Me, less so. 

It was like lighting a match and the popping it in your mouth to burn your cheek.

Or, like if someone really didn't understand how birthday cake 🎂 works, and went all NOM NOM NOM on the still burning candles. 

*Mind you, I've had a similar experience with Stannous fluoride, where all the flesh in my mouth burned 🔥 with no reprieve and water only made it worse. So this could be an allergic reaction. 🤷

I'm also allergic to spicy 🌶, but John is not. So it could be that allergic reaction too, though they didn't taste spicy for the ten seconds I could feel taste. 

Anyway, that's my #ProductReview if anyone is curious. 

Thinking

 (NOT an AtoZ post. Please scroll for those.)

Today I stumbled on a posting about a way of thinking that just 😟😬🤯

 horrified me.

The "logic" (questionable use of that word) is that it's okay if events in life are shitty, because they've been shitty before. 

For example 

If a child is beaten, five bones broken, and a tooth knocked out... but lives

It is then acceptable for that child to get beaten again, have ten bones broken, and half their permanent teeth knocked out. It's okay, because they've survived it before. 

People THINK this way??? 

🤢🤮

That fantastic thinking was followed with defense of trump and his people, who "haven't committed any horrors that haven't been done before, in some manner." 

So... find a mistake and recreate it, but worse! Yay... 

🤦

Stop the 🌎 world, I want to get off.

Wins #AtoZChallenge

Wins 

When I was a child, age 10 and under, I went to toy tractor shows with my Aunt. People display their toy tractors. There are awards, trophies, for this. 

Usually, people just put some on shelves. 

I did displays of the toys looking like they were on farms, or construction sites. Seatbelts became roads. We dyed sawdust for dirt and grass. Blue clingwrap became water. There were toy farmers and farm animals. 

I would rehearse the weekend before, to decide on the scene. Then pack everything, and set it up at the hall or whatever. 

Then I'd sit there for a few hours. I'd hope to read quietly. Sometimes I could sneak that in. Other times, I was supposed to talk to strangers, even though the number one rule is NEVER, EVER, EVER, TALK TO STRANGERS. But I was supposed to know which strangers are acceptable to talk to. 🤪  This, inevitably, resulted in my disappointing my Aunt, because I was trying to sit quietly and read. 

Judges and reporters asked questions. Never the right ones. People didn't show interest in the story I'd mentally write for the characters. They'd ask about the toys and my interest in farming and how I got into this. Stuff I didn't know, I had no actual interest in farming, and my Aunt told me I was interested. 

I just wanted to behave. I wanted to be good. Sometimes, I'd win trophies. But they stayed at her place. 

The trophies, and photo albums that might have shown my wins, have probably all been stolen during the robberies of the last few years. No clue what people would want with that. 

Actually, when I was about twelve, I saw a "behind the scenes" documentary type thing about a movie. It showed how people use toys and models to create sets. (Probably all CGI now.) But I saw a potential future for myself. And was finally interested. 

But we didn't go to shows anymore. Puberty. I became less interesting or something. I don't know. 

Anyway. That's something I was once good at, wins 🏆,  and almost no one knows about it. 

Vegetable #AtoZChallenge

There was a weekend I stayed with my cousin Janelle. Her mom, Debbie, made dinner. There were green balls on the plate. I really liked them, and I said so. 

"Eww," Janelle said.

"What?" I asked.

"You like BRUSSEL SPROUTS?" 

I shrugged. "I don't know. What are they?" 

The green balls.

My dad hated them, so my mom never made them. 

But yeah, I like Brussels sprouts. Best when steamed. A little butter 🧈 😋. 

Underwear #AtoZChallenge

When I was young, people didn't talk about allergies. So no one figured out I was allergic to latex. 

Underwear, the ones I had, were sewn with a stretchy sort of thread, which had latex. And that spot where it lands, top of the leg, crack next to V, it was always inflamed and bleeding and smelly. And I would be blamed. "Stop touching it!" It hurt, it burned, and I couldn't deal. 

Going for a blood draw. 💉 The tight thing around the arm had me crying before and after. "Oh, the needle wasn't that bad!" No, it wasn't. But my arm would swell and ache from the latex arm tie.

"DON'T VOMIT ON THE DENTIST!" Such poor behavior. "Why do you wanna misbehave like that?" I tried. I tried so hard, tried everything, not to be bad. I tried. I TRIED. Latex gloves in the mouth made me have an allergic reaction, no matter how I tried to not have my tongue swell, drool running everywhere, and eventually vomit. 

Math class. I got sick in math so often. ✏️ We weren't allowed to use pens in math. Those pink erasers on pencils, or the big pink erasers, those are latex. I was sick because I was inhaling latex dust. 

But the best story comes in adulthood. Guys were always telling me I was tight. Then there was Jake. And the incident that ended with 🍆 part of him stuck 🌮 in me. "GIVE ME BACK MY D___!!" 🤣

Yeah. Ask me how I know I'm allergic to latex.

Truth #AtoZChallenge

American Pie

Years ago, back in 2000, when I was still friends with people who, maybe, I shouldn't have been...

A few weeks after my daughter died,  and I left my fiance, and I started a new job, and moved twice... 

I was with my friends to hangout for the night. They put in the movie American Pie, knowing full well that I hate that movie. So I walked out. No throwing a fit, no protest. Just gathered my things, politely said goodnight, and left. 

One followed me. Not for any good friend reasons you might hope. She said she wanted to talk. (Meaning I left, she drew the short straw, and had to "deal" with me.) 

So we walked outside. 

"Why would you walk out on the movie?"

"I don't like that movie."

"You gotta get over your dead daughter. Babies die." 

What??? 

I should have hit her.

I should have knocker her on her fat ass. Sorry. But who the f🤬 says shit like that? 

I don't recall what all was said before I got away.

But I know what I DID NOT say.

I know I pointed out that there's a scene in the movie where a girl is filmed undressing (or web cammed, whatever) without her knowledge or consent, and it's put online. I asked this "friend" how she'd feel if that happened to her. And she said she'd ki1l herself. 

So, here's the truth.

I didn't tell her.

I did not tell her that it DID happen to her.

I found out. And I fought to get it taken down, under child porno laws. I knew the right connections at the time. I got it dealt with and taken down, as far as I know at least. 

I never told her that the movie she found so funny had a scene mocking a horror that happened to her, something so bad she'd rather not live than endure. 

Should I have? 

I don't know. The group and I parted ways after my respiratory condition from the CT-511 got worse. They turned on me for having a medical condition. 

Frienemies. 

St. Luke's Volunteer #AtoZChallenge

https://youtu.be/kKZjKyTLnFg?si=ikDlNn_F5vHOM-tI

Big Helper in Action.

St. Luke's hospital in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I was a volunteer for years in middle and high school. Over 600 hours by the time I was 16. 

I knew more parts of the hospital than most employees. I was on the transport team, radiology transport, radiology file room, radiation oncology file room (oooaf, the things I saw there, the Polaroids that had to be filed--couldn't have the guys do that job), pharmacy, North-wing 5/ South-wing 9 (the department moved when the hospital expanded), physical therapy, the mail room, and a float-- going anywhere I was needed. 

I loved volunteering. I made friends. I made a difference. I was a trusted member of the team. 

There was this one woman, Val. She wasn't a people person, as they say. But she liked me. One day, she needed something from her car, which was on the other side of the campus. She remembered my schedule. (Seriously, see all the departments I volunteered in? My schedule? Damnnn. My own mom couldn't remember it.) But Val knew I was in general transport that day, so I could run stuff all around the hospital. She requested me. I came up, she gave me the keys to her car and asked me to get the things. (I could havd stolen her car, the stuff in her car, etc. But she knew me. She knew she could trust me.) I got the stuff, locked the door, and brought it to her. 

Maybe that doesn't inspire you. But someone who couldn't get along with others, we got along. That says something. 

I developed skills while volunteering. I had fun. And I was useful. I had a purpose.

Reference Section #AtoZChallenge

Reference section at the middle school. There were various sections in the school library. The middle area was reference. It had the Encyclopedias and such. (Prodigy was the only Internet we had, and it took 10 minutes just to get a search started. And the results were not even close to what Google offers.) 

I was one of the five approved volunteers in the library. And for 2 of the 3 years, I was in charge of the reference section. This was a big deal. 

Here's something really funny. My last year in middle school, we got a new librarian. She married my Godmother's brother. 

Pink dress is my Godmother Sue, her brother Timmy, the 👰‍♂ bride librarian, Timmy and Sue's mom.

Despite being extremely healthy, coaching and playing basketball, etc... Timmy died in his 40s of a heart attack. The librarian now ran the middle and elementary school libraries. 

Quiet #AtoZChallenge

Quiet

I was a very quiet child. Too well behaved.

Have you ever been forgotten? 

My parents and family weren't bad. I was just too quiet. 

People wouldn't notice I was around. "We gotta put a bell 🔔  on you!" 

Mostly, they'd forget me. Left me at a neighbors' one time. My mom was driving me to school one day, forgot I was there, drove to work.

"Yay! No school today!"

"Ahh! What?"

"What?"

"Oh. Shit." Then she drove me to school. 

It's hard to be the forgotten one. 

No one ever forgot my brother. No one was ever surprised he was in the room. My brother makes noise. He isn't quiet. 

I write my representatives. 🤭 I'm not quiet now. I'm not interested in shutting up anymore.

Pickles #AtoZChallenge

🥒

Pickles 

I'm allergic to cucumbers. And vinegar usually makes me vomit. 

For some reason, my family REALLY cared about people eating pickles. I don't know why. We have no connections to any pickle companies, don't grow cucumbers, anything like that. But certain people got obsessed with my eating them.

So, one summer when was 12 or something, I'd eat the little gerkin ones at picnics. Then go inside and puke them up. It worked in the summer because everyone else was outside. But I couldn't hide the vomiting the rest of the year. So I eventually went back to not eating them. 

If you ask my Aunt, to this day, she'll tell you how much I liked pickles. Seriously, we had this conversation this month. "You did like pickles!" 

😮‍💨🙄

Yeah. 

Just not a good enough liar.