I admired a woman, let's call her Soup. She spent a lot of time with me, for which I am grateful. She also spent a fair amount of time trying to get me to want to be someone else. Probably because she wanted to be someone else or maybe someone treated her that way? She lost a lot of interest in me when I became a teenager. Literally my 13th birthday. Suddenly I wasn't invited to things and we didn't hang out or anything. I don't know if it was me or her. I turned down a job at 16 because it was during hours she might call and want to do something. That call didn't come. A year later, a major and horrible, ultimately tragic, event happened. Soup knew it was coming but didn't tell me. Then blamed me for not knowing and thus not doing anything about it. We didn't speak for several years. Another death reconnected us a little. I now see a lot of the toxic traits. I see why she has lost most of her friends- she had an extensive network of people forty years ago. She's going through a hard time. I feel sympathy. But just the other day, we talked briefly, and she managed to mock me and call me names for ten minutes. I gave absolutely no response and she suddenly had to go and hung up.
So yes, I admired someone and my opinion changed as I grew up. This example has been on my mind lately. A very complicated relationship which is mostly toxic.
