Hashtag
Oooh, how attractive I look in this! No one will be able to resist taking snapshots and groupies. Hashtag fabulous! Hashtag OneOfAKind! Hashtag BestDressed! All eyes will be on me this evening.
"Your car," the valet dangles my keys. Impossible to believe, but they didn't send a limo for me. I am wearing this one-of-a-kind, photo-snagging, social-media-viral-bait couture, yet I'm expected to drive myself. Just because the event is for charity doesn't mean they shouldn't splurge on people like me.
The outfit's mirrors, sequins, and jewels glimmer and shine, attracting every light on the road. A flashing pink neon sign looks especially elegant. I pause for a selfie. Hashtag RadiantInPink! The rude driver behind me honks. Uncultured savage. No appreciation for the fine art piece before him, which he is getting to view for free, I might add. He can wait while I post. My followers need a sneak peek to admire while I'm en route.
An alert flashes on my phone. I click it as I merge onto the highway.
OH
MY
GODDESS
The designer of this magnificent outfit is dead!
I have the only copy of this in existence! I might be wearing the final design.
And it's going to be wasted debuting at a charity event for burn victims or cleft palates or whatever I'm boosting support for tonight. Should I go to a club first? I have a duty to present myself in this at the finest venue possible, don't I? If I get off at this exit, I can give the world that gift. It's only three lanes of traffic. They'll move out of my way. It's me, after all.
~~~
What is this awful white light? And that horrendous beeping sound? And, eww, what low-thread-count fabric is touching me?
"Scissors."
"Yes, doctor."
Scissors? "What's happening?"
"You've been in a car accident. We need to remove your clothing to save you."
"What? No! Don't cut the couture! It's the only one, it's the last one. Are you whacked? I need to be photographed wearing this. Not in such harsh light, naturally. But somewhere worthy. My followers need to see what I'm wearing. Do you not know who I am?"
The pockmarked doctor sneers. "You're wearing a steering column. There's a turn signal sticking out of your exposed intestines. Is that really an image you want to share?"
~~~
Hashtag Recovery isn't trending. My follower count dips below the influencer level. I'm evicted from my luxurious apartment. A newcomer gets it, along with much of my swag, and has the nerve to post pictures along with the tags: #Retro #YoungerAndBetterLooking #LearnToDrive #CoutureKiller.
The last one hurts the most. It is trending. No one can forgive my allowing the final design to be destroyed. Tiny mirrors, sequins, and jewels all covered in blood are posted as a gifset hiding my face. My social media reflection is of a has-been. I should have died wearing that outfit. Better death than to be alive as someone no longer worthy of seeing.
Hashtag
By: Jamie Dorner
FCA
According to Google Docs, I have 501 words, but according to WordCounter.net, I have 385 words. Either way, it's under 1000.
Tagline: Fashion becomes pain for a narcissistic social media influencer.
The good news right now is that no one else in my "circle" has died or contracted a new deadly disease or issue in the last month. (Followers here know I've had a rough year.)
Also, I managed to buckle down long enough to write this and to write an entry for WriteClub.
#WRiTECLUB2021
— π«π³ (@DL_H) November 29, 2021
The submissions are all in and our Slushpile readers are busy reading each one to decide if it has what it takes to step into the ring. Not an easy task!
The field will be set and daily bouts begin on Dec6th!
Will you be in one of them? π
What a great character study! Were it not for the severe injuries, this protagonist wouldn't get much sympathy. A true narcissist!
ReplyDeleteSadly, this attitude is killing our society. An honest and REAL portrayal of media crazy people who care so much about absolutely NOTHING... I loved the doctor's response!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! LOL I mean so very, very appropriate for the prompt! Loved it!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on all the writing success!
That was great and so timely. So many people are focused on the outsides and the perfect moments. Sadly, they miss the truly important stuff that could actually make them happy.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with WriteClub - it's such a great contest!!
This was perfect for Narcissus - a real Narcissa! Loved it Jamie! I found a mirror dress to illustrate your link on twitter. Oh, whoops, still unTwittered?
ReplyDeleteπ Yup, still banned despite multiple appeals.
DeleteThey keep replying that negative voices of self doubt in my head are a protected group under Twitter TOS.
Non tangible
Non corporal
But have more rights than me under Twitter.
π€
And the YouTube clip I used with the offensive quote is still available as a selectable gif on Twitter, and the comedian who said it still has an active account. If either of those at least weren't true, okay. Inequality.
Oh boy....
DeleteHow true it is. How painfully true. Painful for your protagonist and MUCH more painful for the world which supports, encourages, nurtures temporary stars like her.
ReplyDeleteYou really captured the thought process of a narcist. I can't even come close. Great job and entry for the bloghop.
ReplyDeleteNancy
Great contribution to this month's WEP. I'm glad you were able to submit a story in spite of all that life has dealt you this year.
ReplyDeleteWe actually have such characters on social media! Obsessed with how they look, what the world thinks about them, about how many followers they have, and how heartbroken they are when they see a dip in their followers. :(
ReplyDeleteHow long will it last? It's all a mirage!
Hi Jamie - there are 'so many' people out there who are just self-obsessed - exactly as you've described because they so often cause other major problems. Love the take on your story ... and so true of today - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteGreat satire on a self-obsessed culture. There's definitely a black humour going on here, but it is somehow believable as well. Great job!
ReplyDeleteOh, gosh. What a farce! A great story.
ReplyDeleteGreat take on the selfie culture. She deserved what she got, in a way. I'd feel bad about the dress designer, but I guess he/she is also beyond caring :o
ReplyDeleteI love how you still added the "mirror" via the dress. Clever and modern. #moderndaynarcissism.
ReplyDeleteThis was wonderfully done! I love the way you described the outfit. Very inspired! Influencer culture definitely has its toxic elements, and you've captured them perfectly here. Well done!
ReplyDeleteFabulous story! As Shannon pointed out it is #moderndaynarcissism. Mirrors covered with blood and his/her thoughts - I enjoyed it thoroughly.
ReplyDeleteVery relevant take on this prompt.
ReplyDeleteYou've captured the social media influencer culture quite perfectly. It's all about self-image and the next selfie!
I really enjoyed your story!
This was just beyond delightful. And a brilliant take on the prompt. Thoroughly enjoyed reading. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteI still can't decide if I dislike her for the narcissism or feel sorry for her for being replaced. Anyways loved the way you described it through the first-person POV.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog
ReplyDeleteRead my new post
ReplyDeleteThis is such an accurate portrait of the mind of a social media influencer. It's such a ghastly way to go through life. I'll stick to being not hashtag-worthy.
ReplyDeleteHappy holidays if you celebrate them.
Congratulations on your WEP award.
ReplyDeleteHi Jamie - yes ... congratulations on your WEP award ... a clever take on the prompt - cheers Hilary
ReplyDelete