My Political Views

Isidewith.com

I was asked why I planned to vote for a Democrat. The issues being discussed weren't ones I had a strong opinion about,  and I wasn't sure how any of the current candidates of my party felt about it either. I know how they feel about issues I DO care about,  but not issues I'm not following.

So I went to the "I side with" site again today. It's not run by any candidate or party. And I got the same results that I had a few months ago.

Yeah,  I'm voting for someone who shares my point of view. That's generally how it works.

Next to nothing

Today I accomplished next to nothing. I had no ambition,  drive, passion,  desire,  or ability to be motivated. (Ability? Absorptionability? Not sure.) It was all ding-dong, no one home.

I tried to write. It was a short story based on a dream (that was possibly inspired by watching the movie Sisters). Tina and Amy check into a five star hotel. The staff keeps stealing hotel stuff from their room because they figure celebrities will pay without checking the bill. Tina calls for towels,  the bell hop steals the pillowcase. She calls about that,  two employees steal the nightstand. It was hilarious in the dream. It was dull as a story.

I did two loads of dishes. (One normal dirty dishes,  the other washing stuff like the metal stove bowls and the microwave plate. Odds and ends.) I questioned how there were dishes to do when we were barely home all weekend,  and mostly ate out. But whatever.

I read one more chapter in my book. Charged my phone. Walked away from it while it charged,  ended up missing a call from my best friend. Sigh. :/

It's going to be a long week.

How about you? Ever have an empty blah kind of day?

The Same Old New Drug

Am I the only one disturbed when medication changes look and taste? From brown no-flavor to fake cotton-candy. Not "mmm yum,  cotton-candy" but that fake flavor only found in children's medicine. Just wondering if I'm alone in this. Not so much a complaint as an observation.

Dear Diary or Whatever

I sought the help of another doctor. She couldn't help. She tried. Mostly she ended up trying to help me find someone else who might help. One of them said that,  on top of everything else,  I'm probably depressed. A stranger who has never met me has made this diagnosis based just on my medical history. Not on my actual files or treatments,  but just based on what I told the other doctor.

I fight tooth and nail not to be depressed. I'd rather be angry. And yeah,  I know that's fighting chemistry,  but I don't care. It's fight or die. So I stick with angry. I'll complain adamantly about a broken smoke detector. Am I Ms. Fire Safety?  No. But it's a problem,  and one that I might be able to fix. I can't fix my own body. I can't seem to find a doctor or a drug to improve my quality of life. But I can raise hell over a smoke detector.

Dear Diary or Whatever... I did something dumb today. Just after six pm,  I took my meds. My alarm had gone off,  so as soon as I could get to them,  I did them. I didn't think it through. I was like a robot. I did it with less thought than flicking off a light switch.
I didn't eat first.
And then I had to take my mom to run errands. And I quickly paid for not having food in my stomach. Oh God,  I paid. I wanted to run into traffic. I wanted to bury myself in a snow bank. But,  most of all,  I wanted to go back to sleep. I wasn't tired. But it hurt. It hurt so much. It took me an hour to eat 6 pieces of sushi, once I finally was able to sit and eat,  which was 3 hours later. I forced myself to stay up for another hour. Okay,  45 minutes. I couldn't take it anymore. I passed out.

I didn't think. I failed to plan. I know the consequences and have no one to blame but myself. And I had to write this somewhere. I don't know why.

I'm glad I don't hang out with any mind readers. They'd hear me screaming in my head. They'd know the truth.

I'm not depressed. I'm angry and I'm in pain. And I've lost nearly all hope that it'll be okay,  or better,  or not worse.

Minty bread

In my dream last night my husband was looking in the refrigerator when he asked me if I wanted the minty bread. I asked him what he meant.

"Is it moldy? Is the way the light hits it making it appear green? Are there mints on it that are altering the flavor?"
But,  like the end of an 80's sitcom,  he was a non responsive statue.

Do all dreams have meaning? And,  if so,  what could minty bread possibly mean? If that's a euphemism for the 1.5 billion dollar Powerball, sorry folks, I didn't win.

#boutofbooks wrap up and bizarre life stuff

I finished the challenge. I got about a dozen chapters read in The Name of the Wind.

There was distraction in my life in the way of a bridal shower. I'm a matron of honor. There was crazy drama mixed in for my bride.

Once upon a time,  my mom was thrilled when I'd go to bed on time and sleep for 9 hours. There was praise and joy that I woke up 8 hours early on Saturday to go do stuff. And minor disappointment when,  three hours after my usual WAKING time,  I was exhausted and felt sick to my stomach from a lack of proper sleep. Welcome to backwards world. These are the joys of living 3rd shift hours. People like it when you stay up all day,  but life requires you to stay up all night. So any sleep is failure. In fact,  the only one who encourages any sleep is the doctor. Unless you have an appointment,  in which case you should get up 3 or 4 hours early.

If you ever need help in the middle of the night,  if you're ever grateful for a package that arrives on time,  or if you use any service while sleeping (like electric for your clock and refrigerator) - remember that there are real humans with real human families that take a world of crap to give you those things. You're welcome. Or... We're all vampires and will slay you like cattle. (Gratitude is good,  but I'll settle for fear if it'll shut up the screaming kids in the hall.)

Age Based on Reading

http://en.what-character-are-you.com/m/en/4767/index/30119.html

It's just a silly Facebook quiz thing. But I loved my answer! I thought I'd share with my fellow book lovers.