Saturday, February 6, 2016

On Regret

I do not understand regret.

Oh sure,  I've read the definition. I can comprehend and use it correctly.

But I do understand it,  specifically the function of it.

First off, the past can't be changed. Yes,  there's a time travel argument,  but some would bring up alternative time lines and... I'm sticking with the statement: The past cannot be changed.

A lesson can be learned from a mistake. A future mistake could be avoided because of that. But these are not the function of regret.

Regretting one choice over another- The other path is different,  not better.
It seems better because you are failing the test of THIS path you are on. Stop failing and THIS will become that better path.

If the other path seems easier,  it wouldn't have been. Easy is a disguise, a lie we tell ourselves to lessen the pain of personal failure. The other path would have had different tests. Make your path the easy one. Learn how. Figure it out.

Grief and regret are evil bedfellows. "If only I had ___, then ___ might have (lived,  died better,  died later)." Well,  that didn't happen. Maybe in a multiverse. But it isn't what happened here. Grief is natural and part of a process. Regret is not part of a process. Regret is cancer for the soul.

"What about Batman?"
Someone always brings that up. Bruce Wayne regretted not saving his parents. So he became Batman. But saving his parents wasn't supposed to be his job. And the regret isn't what ultimately dives him. Regret offers no power. When he overcomes regret,  that's when he improves.  Go examine it again.

That's my two cents for today.

And yes,  I have plenty to regret. I have a grief so powerful that there isn't even a word (orphan,  widow/er, ... but then the one without a word). But no,  I allow no regrets in my mind. They fix nothing.

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