#atozchallenge Restaurant: Impossible

Restaurant: Impossible
2011–

Chef Robert Irvine travels to Reading, Pennsylvania to Rich's Refined Restaurant. 
"I'm in Reading," Robert says, starting his introduction. 
"CUT!"
"What?"
"It's pronounced like the color red, the past tense of to read, or a reed as in the plant that grows in the marsh. Reading. Like in the Monopoly game."

🤯 Robert's mind is blown. But he starts again, pronouncing it correctly.

They get to Rich's Refined Restaurant. 🚩🍴 Robert is impressed with the signage and ease of finding the place. The parking lot is in excellent shape. The exterior of the building is not only in good repair, but it's obvious they've gone green. ♻🔅 

The door opens to a vestibule. If there's one thing Chef Irvine hates, it's a vestibule. But the inner door doesn't open immediately. "What's this?" 

An electronic panel instructs that the first door must close. The camera scooches in with Robert so the door can close.

A blue light comes on. The inner door counts down, then reads "CLEAN" and opens. Robert is concerned. 

A host immediately greets and offers a choice of a booth, table, or Zashiki-style seating.
"Is this a Japanese restaurant?" Robert looks around for any sign of the food style. 

The host smiles. "We do offer some cuisine from East Asia. The Zashiki-style seating is more so because," the host holds up a menu with a slogan.

Rich's Refined Restaurant - So clean, you can eat off of our floors.

Robert decides to go with it. As the host leads him to his dining area, he asks about shoes.

"Your footwear was sanitized on the way in. If you'd like to remove your shoes, there is a separate cleaning area where you can have your socks sterilized, borrow a pair of uwabaki, or enjoy a before-meal pedicure and foot bath in an adjacent room linked to our neighbor's salon."

Chef Irvine rubs his head. "I'm just gonna sit and eat, if that's okay."

"Absolutely. We're all about good, clean fun here. Your server today, River, will be right with you."

Robert looks at the menu while waiting. It's one page, with the slogan on the back. No pictures that he hates. Not too many items. But he can't figure out the theme of the restaurant.

River comes over. "Welcome. My name is River and I'll be your server today. Might I start you off with a refreshing beverage? Reading Razzle Dazzle is our special drink today, with or without alcohol to suit your desire."

Robert looks at River, tapping his lips. "How are you making a Reading Razzle Dazzle?"

"Our Reading Razzle Dazzle has raspberry schnapps, cranberry schnapps and Reading Draft Sarsaparilla served over ice. We use freshly juiced raspberries and cranberry juice in the non-alcoholic version."
"I'll take a non-alcoholic one. And can I also get a salad with whatever hot bacon dressing is?"

"Absolutely. That's a local favorite. Would you like that regular or sweetened?"

"What?"

"Some guests like a bit of sugar added to the bacon dressing as it's warmed."

Chef Irvine laughs as he replies unsweetened. Once River is gone, he asks the camera, "Who would put sugar on a salad?"

When River returns, Robert orders a medium-rare steak with potato-onion pierogi, a sashimi platter, a Lebanon bologna sandwich, and an Amish chicken pot pie.

"Sour cream and butter with your pierogi?"

"On the side, please."

"For the sandwich, no cheese, swiss cheese, or smoked gouda? Our cheese is local, from September Farm."

"Gouda."

"Marbled rye, white, or potato bread?" River asks.

"What do people normally get?"

"I like the potato. But white is the most popular choice."

Robert picks white.

"Kashipan, cornbread, or potato bread rolls are available with your meal for a dollar more. Would that interest you?"

Robert declines.

"This is the most unhealthy salad I've ever had." Robert pulls dandelion greens covered in hot, white goo, from his plate. "Are these weeds? Why would anyone put a hot dressing on a salad? It wilts everything. And I'm pretty sure this is just lard with bits of bacon."

River brings the rest of his order. 

"What's this?"

"That's your pot pie, Sir."

"There's no pie. No crust."

River nods. "I can take it back if it displeases you. But it is the Amish dish. More of a stew in a pot than a pie. We make the noodles on site."

Robert dismisses River and samples the food. 

"The bologna tastes more like salami. There's mayo, which I didn't ask for. Maybe it comes with it. The alleged pot pie tastes more like a hearty chicken noodle soup. Not a bad flavor though. The sashimi seems really fresh. That's odd, given we're not that near the ocean. I'm curious how they're managing." Robert cuts into his steak. "Wow. That's really medium-rare. Usually cooks are afraid of the pink." 

He takes a bite and does a happy dance in his seat. The owner is called over.

Rich, who is part white man from Pennsylvania Dutch country (with Swiss origins), and part Japanese (his mother is from Osaka), comes over. He says he doesn't know why his restaurant is failing.

He and Robert go to the kitchen. Robert nearly falls over. 

"I've never seen a kitchen so clean."

"Nearly sterile. I was a surgeon before I bought this place."

Robert looks at Rich. "What made you trade your medical degree for a restaurant?"

"I cut people open. Here, I cut food. I held lives in my hands, lives of people who usually wished they weren't there. Here, people want to be here, and while food is life, and food safety does put life in my hands, the odds are better. It brings me joy."

Rich shows Robert his irradiation tools that keep all the food safe. He shows him the light that double cleans everything. 

They go over the books. Rich is using the rule of three that Robert suggests. He's buying fresh food locally. Everything on his menu is selling at a steady rate, just not as often as he'd like. 

The team comes in. Tom and Lynn are shocked by how well-maintained and clean everything is. 

"What kind of power does it take to run all these UV lights and stuff?"

Rich answers that he actually sells power back to the grid because his building is so green.

Lynn works on making the restaurant a little less sterile. Tom goes with Robert to work on the mystery of why the place isn't doing better.

"Have you been there?"

"Triple R? I ain't clean enough."

The handful of people they talk to all think the place is "too clean" for them to eat at. They feel out of place. The people they find who don't think that way all turn out to be regular customers. 

Robert ends up partnering with Rich, bringing some of his "clean and green" inventions into his own restaurants. RRR moves to another location, but the Pennsylvania Dutch food doesn't sell outside of the state. RRR ultimately shuts down. But don't worry about Rich, his inventions keep him, well, rich. 🤑💰

 

(RRR does not exist.)

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