TODAY'S edition is slightly more adult.
I was wrong. He turned out to be a really bad boyfriend.
A week after we started having sex, he grew distant. I’d ask to make plans. He’d respond with anger, saying I was smothering him or that I didn’t respect his schedule. Then I didn’t call him for three days. I showed up at his work, here at this store, on day four. Found him kissing someone else in the stock room.
“We broke up!” Theophanus yelled when asked what was going on.
“Really? I missed the memo. Your dick was in me five days ago. Then I didn’t hear from you for three days. Now I’m here. When was the alleged break up?”
“What else do you expect me to take from your ignoring me for three days? All you ever wanted was my virginity. Maybe you hoped it would replace yours. Once you had it, you were done with me.”
That blew my mind. Not only was it not true, but it disregarded everything else. “Done with you? We’ve done it at least a dozen times since then.”
“You come over, bang me, and leave. We don’t go out. You don’t even dress up to seduce me. Look at what you’re wearing! Jeans and a hoodie. You wore one cute outfit the entire time we were together. And that was the night you lured me into bed!”
“I… what? You know what, you’re an ass. Theo-ph-ANUS. We weren’t broken up before, but we are now.”
As I left, I looked at the girl he was with. Straight out of Hentai. If that’s what he thought I’d turn into, it was best that it was over.
I put the distant memory of Anus out of my mind. The Sims 4 is on the shelf. I hadn’t tried this version yet. I have the original with all the expansions, the second and all those expansions, and the third with all those expansions. Plus, I have a Urbz: Sims in the City and Sims Medieval. And I was in the short-lived online community. So it seems only natural that I would get the series’ fourth game. Except I’m short on funds at the moment. Maybe after I get roommates and things have calmed down.
And after I get my car fixed and fitted for my special needs. That’s also more important than a new game. Feeding and caring for the creatures I’ve taken in, that’s important too. There are more since I moved into the inherited house. It’s important to keep a roof over their heads.
There it is. That’s the thinking that separates me from the hardcore fans. A new game or new comic book is not my highest priority. Never trolled online. I don’t post on message boards. There’s no gamer forum where I have some cool handle which I use to discuss cheat codes into the wee hours. And where the underground door really slams in my face, I have no idea how to use Tumblr.
Anus use to tell me he’d set me up with these things. That he’d have me speaking code and writing in HTML. Looking back, I think he was hoping to impress me. There were a lot of subjects he promised to teach me, none which he ever did. Except for the lesson that anyone can become a cheater. Yeah, that he managed to drill into my heart forever.
*** 567 words
What an absolute jerk Anus is. Funny graphic!
ReplyDeleteWhat a douche canoe. Liv dodged a bullet!
ReplyDeleteLoving this story - always excited to see what's next.
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